What might have been

I received a copy of the book; "McDonald's - Behind the Arches". Very interesting book about the history, the company, and it's system of operation.

Early in the book, the author is discussing the original McDonald brothers; Richard and Maurice, who were known as " Dick & Mac". While reading this, it occurred to me that this must have been the origination for the name of the sandwich; "The Big Mac"...

It was probably a good thing that they chose to honor Maurice instead of Richard.

Merry Christmas to All!!

Following is a reprint of my post from December 24, 2004…

My uncle Paul was a war hero. He was never recognized in that fashion by the world, but I know he was a war hero. He was a part of the greatest generation. He helped save the world during WWII. He was a fun loving man, a devoted father, brother, husband, son, uncle and friend to many. He died too young, probably from injuries and illnesses he received during the war. He was Santa Claus when I was a child. I didn’t know it then, but when I became a teen-ager I found out that he was Santa Claus. The last time he was Santa, I was ten years old. I remember that Christmas, specifically because that was the year my parents gave me a slot-car set. I don’t know why he stopped playing Santa. I know he didn’t always feel very well. Perhaps he merely wanted to pass the torch. My memories are becoming too foggy about these things. Twelve years ago when my son was 10, I gave him a slot-car set for Christmas. Oddly enough that year, my Aunt-Ann asked me to play Santa at our family’s traditional Christmas Eve celebration at her house. I have been Santa each year ever since. On Christmas Eve around 10pm, my cousin Laura will herd all the kids to the basement family room of Aunt-Ann’s home. Her brother and her husband will escort me to the second floor bedroom and help me change into my Santa suit. When I am ready and all the kids are out of the living room, I will go downstairs and out to the porch where I will wait until the kids are escorted back up to the living room. It amazes me that the little kids never question why they are being moved from floor to floor. But it is Christmas, and they are anxious to please, so they go. When they are all seated in the living room, someone will suggest singing a Christmas Carol. As this happens, I am standing on the porch and listen through the walls. Sometimes I peek through the window to watch my family. When I do, I see generations of love. I see tradition. I see time slipping by .I see memories in creation. When I get the signal from my cousin, I knock on the door and yell; “HO, HO, HO”. Then I make my grand entrance.
All the kids even the older ones sit on Santa’s lap and receive a small gift. Some of the adults sit on Santa’s lap. I am continually astounded by the fact that the kids can’t figure out who Santa is. Even my own children didn’t know until they were told. Maybe they choose not to know. My Mom always sits on Santa’s lap. He wishes her a happy birthday (She was born at 5pm on Christmas Day). She doesn’t see it, but Santa’s eyes are wet. When all of “the kids” have visited Santa we all sing another Christmas Carol then Santa exits through the front door wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. And that is it. My favorite, and the fastest 30 minutes of the year. Before I leave the porch, I look back through the window in the door…Though I hope I can play Santa for many more years, I know I will ultimately give it up to the next generation. I also know that whoever becomes Santa, will look back through the window and see the same things that I see; parents, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins, children, grandparents, and a war hero.

2006 footnote:
This is the first year that everyone is old enough to know who Santa is. We have only one new family member; Connor. Connor is my brother’s grandson. He is less than one year old, so Santa’s visit might be traumatic for him. None-the-less, Santa will visit just as sure as the sun will rise on Christmas morning. But Santa is magic…so who knows what else might occur…

They say the military is not efficient...

I've been having some issues with my left knee. 15 years ago I had to have my anterior cruciate ligament replaced. Everything has been going along swimmingly until a couple weeks ago. Suddenly I am having a lot of pain and difficulty getting around. So finally today I went back to the Cleveland Clinic Sports Medicine Department ( they did the orginal surgery) to find out what is going on.

Turns out I have arthritis and am in the midst of a bad "arthritic episode". They issued me a brace and gave me some physical therapy routines to do. Other than that...pain killers are the answer.

Anyhow in my quest to find humor in everything, I noted the following; When I arrived for my 1pm Xray appointment I heard on the television in the waiting area that a high ranking Iraqi official had been kidnapped... My Xray appointment was pushed to 2pm. That of course moved my doctor appointment to "later". I finally got in to see the doc around 4. As I was going into the exam room, I heard from the television in the lobby, that the Iraqi official had been freed.

I spent more time in captivity than he did!

Imagine

I was never a huge Beatles fan. I liked them of course, but there were other bands that I liked better. I actually appreciated the individual musicians more as they went their separate ways.

December of 1980 was a special month for us. Our first child ( Melissa ) was born on December 6. After some tense weeks anticipating a c-section delivery we were relieved, ecstatic, and exhausted in the days immediately following her birth.

Since Robin and Melissa were both in the hospital and I was running between home, work, and the hospital neither Robin or I paid any attention to TV. In fact we didn't hear of John Lennon's death until Robin's brother Scott called us from his home in Manhattan.

Melissa has such a strong love of music. Perhaps it is because we always had music playing in the house and car. We sing, and of course we sang to her even before she was born.

Melissa's musical tastes are eclectic to say the least. She would have been a Beatles fan. Especially in their 70's style. I'm sure that she would have loved John Lennon.

It is hard for me to believe that She as well as Tim and Stef grew up not knowing John Lennon as a living, creative force. It angers me that this was stolen from them and their generation.

A few years ago, Robin and I strolled through Central Park, and sat for a few minutes in Strawberry Fields. We looked across the street toward that fateful spot where John Lennon's life was stolen from him and from the world. I felt an emptiness. I am reminded of that today.

I often wonder what the great musicians of the world would do with today's technology. Imagine Bach with a sequencer. Imagine Beethoven with computerized notation software. Imagine Mozart with digital equipment and digital lighting controls. Imagine John Lennon having been able to finish the musical dreams within him.

Imagine.

December 7, 1941

In remembrance

What's in your walls?

I read an article today about a family in Vermont that discovered an original Norman Rockwell painting behind a wall in their fathers' studio. They sold the painting for several millions of dollars.

It might be a long shot, but I figured what the heck. If I don't look, I might be missing something. So I spent the day "examining" our house.

Big Brother is watching

“Big Brother” is watching us. But he is not alone. In fact, everyone is watching everyone.

Web cams, “red-light” cameras, traffic monitoring cameras, mini-recorders, electronic entry devices, cell phones, camera phones, video phones, police video cams… everywhere we go, everywhere we are there are people seen and unseen, who are viewing and recording our every move.

My daughter received a speeding ticket from a red-light camera that snapped a picture of her license plate as she sped through a Cleveland intersection at 4 miles per hour over the limit. The President is recorded by an unseen microphone as he holds a private conversation and his private statements become headline news. Your mug is recorded at the ATM as you make a withdrawal from your own bank account. (don’t pick your nose while waiting). The gaming tables in Vegas are viewed by the “eye in the sky”. Department stores have monitored their aisles by video for years. Caller ID tells us who is calling before we answer the phone. Parks, intersections, bridges, buildings & sidewalks are being monitored by web cams. If you are stopped by a police officer for a traffic violation ( or worse ) there is a better chance than not, that you are being video taped. And as if all of this isn’t enough; anyone with an up to date cell phone can record your actions on video and post them to the web before you even finish whatever it is you shouldn’t be doing!

Recently, former “Seinfeld” star; Michael Richards learned this lesson when he was captured by multiple cell phone videographers as he railed against a heckler at a California comedy club. Within hours this very disturbing video made it to the web and was viewed by millions thereby marring his reputation possibly beyond repair.

Could technology become society’s behavioral monitor? Perhaps the realization that “Big Brother” along with every other brother and sister ARE watching will impact our behavior as individuals.

I’m not sure if this is good or not.

Where were you?

I was in Mrs. Cochran’s third grade room at the old Royalton Rd School. I don’t recall what time it was. I think we were in reading class. Mrs. Gold, the school principal turned on the school PA system and announced that school was ending early because; “ President Kennedy has been assassinated.” Mrs. Cochran had to define assassination for some of us. As she did you could hear gasps from around the room and other classrooms. Some of the girls started crying. Our teacher herded us quietly to the door and led us to our respective busses. On the bus the conjecture of conspiracy had already begun. The “older” kids ( 7th & 8th graders) were speculating that the Russians were responsible. Other than that discussion, the bus ride home was silent except for the gentle sobbing of children who didn’t thoroughly understand the ramifications of what had just happened. They understood only that an American hero was gone.

When I arrived home, my mom was crying. Some of the neighborhood mom’s were at our house. They were all crying. Mrs. Trimber said she had the worst headache of her life. She left in silence, as did the other mom’s. The TV was on. Walter Cronkite and CBS News was already narrating the surreal events surrounding this national tragedy. And it was a national tragedy. Like nothing anyone had experienced ( at least in our lifetime )…

They were different times. It was before television was in control of information. ( It was on its way, but not there yet) It was before the Internet or even the dream of an Internet. We still had faith in government. Those who voted for Nixon instead of Kennedy buried the hatchet before inauguration day, and the nation was united in support of the seated President. The position was one that was awarded respect despite the color of your state. Kennedy was young, handsome, and athletic. His wife was poised, beautiful, admired, and loved by a nation that was not yet addicted to celebrities. The White House was affectionately dubbed: Camelot.

Then came Dallas...

Flags were at half-staff, schools closed, businesses shutdown, social activities cancelled. The nation was glued to the TV for days watching and listening to Walter Cronkite describe play by play every event of the day. We watched in real time the transportation of the fallen hero from Dallas to Washington. We saw Jackie follow the casket as it was removed from Air Force 1. We saw his blood still on her dress ( which she refused to change ) . We watched LBJ sworn in as our new President. We watched as Lee Harvey Oswald, the accused killer was himself gunned down outside a Dallas police station. We watched his killer; Jack Ruby arrested. We viewed the casket on display in the Rotunda. We listened to Samuel Barber's "Adagio For Strings" played mournfully as we watched the rider-less horse lead the procession to Arlington. We watched “John-John” salute his father as the casket passed.

The world changed during those days. The questions began to rise regarding the “real” circumstances behind Kennedy’s death. Conspiracy theories about this event led to conspiracy theories about everything else involving our government. The television coverage of the event taught news producers how to cover such a disaster. The ratings of those broadcasts taught broadcasters just how hungry the population was for “instant” news. The media had been born earlier, but it came to age in late November 1963.

Eventually, our schedules went back to normal. Schools re-opened, business began their day-to-day operations again, and people went back to their social calendars. But everything was different... November 22, 1963 was the last day of an age of innocence.

My Thanksgiving diet

I decided this morning that I need to lose some weight before Thanksgiving. So, today I donated blood and got a haircut.

That ought to do it.

If you cook it they will come

I ran across another blog the other day that is being published by a friend of mine who at one time worked with me in the crazy world of entertainment marketing. Jennifer is an extremely talented woman with a wonderful Seinfeld type sense of humor.

Anyhow, she has launched her own communication company and her blog provides some insight as to how she works. The blog is: http://ifyoucookittheywillcom.blogspot.com/ I highly recommend it.

( Jennifer, if you are reading this, notice that I used the word "insight"!!)

Interesting

I haven't heard even one story about election fraud...

VOTE!

Someone gave their life so that you could.

Halloween lights

My friend Tom has a fun Halloween light show at his home... click on "Halloween lights" to see and hear...

Today's Trivia...Fashion model? or starving child from a third world nation?

18 Safety Tips About Serial Killers

As a public service I present the following:

I thought it might be helpful to provide some tips for protecting yourself from serial killers. Further, since most serial killer victims are woman, I am directing this advice to woman.

I suggest that this list be memorized, and the procedures practiced regularly so that these tips might be drawn upon at anytime without hesitation.

(You may also print these warnings and pass them out to friends. )

1. Always be on the lookout for serial killers

2. Serial killers like to hang out in parking lots at K-Mart & WalMart sitting in their cars all day.

3. Don't be friends with any serial killers.

4. Never invite a serial killer over to watch Desperate Housewives or Ellen.

5. It is important for women to avoid serial killers who have killed more than 6 people because being victim number 7 is unlucky.

6. If you are walking to your car and you see a male in the car next to yours, assume that he is a serial killer. Shoot him and then run. This is legal in most states.

7. All men are serial killers. You cannot be too paranoid.

8. Be afraid of anyone who looks at you any time in any place.

9. There is no such thing as having too many weapons in your purse or briefcase.

10. Even if you accidently kill innocent people who are not serial killers, that's OK. The police will understand and won't arrest you.

11. Sometimes friends and family turn out to be serial killers. Never trust them.

12. Your spouse is probably a serial killer and you don't know it.

13. Even though you've tried hard to raise your sons right they are probably going to be serial killers anyway. It's not your fault. Never trust them.

14. Some women have been known to kill everyone in their house just to be on the safe side. This may sound extreme, but it works.

15. Some women have been known to go out hunting and killing men. Even though the FBI refers to these women as serial killers, it is far more likely that they were just trying to keep themselves safe from serial killers by being proactive.

16. When you shoot a serial killer always remember to empty your gun into him. Use every last bullet before you stop shooting. Also, you may want to shoot anyone else who is around. They are probably accomplices. Don't worry if you have to stop and reload. Just shoot anyone you see until you run out of ammunition. This will help keep you safe.

17. All serial killers are men. Women who kill are just retaliating for years of abuse. You'll understand better what I mean when their stories are told on Lifetime or discussed on The View.

18. Never wear wool socks on a Thursday. This is a sign to rapists and serial killers that you are a willing victim.

Katrina Relief Eplogue

Arriving in Pascagoula, Mississippi the devastation that still exists one year after Katrina was overwhelming. My first thought was; “Can we really make a difference?”

On Monday morning we met Ann; the homeowner who we were sent to assist. Looking at her home and hearing her story I remembered the story of the young man on the shore and the thousands of starfish washed up and left behind from the low tide.

Thousands of starfish were dieing while the young man furiously worked to throw them back. An older man came by and saw the young man struggling to save the starfish. He said to the boy; “Can’t you see how futile this is? You will never be able to save enough to make a difference.” The boy thought for a moment then picked up a single starfish, threw it into the ocean and said; “ I just made a difference for that one.”

We made a difference.

Day 5 Katrina Relief

Our final day in Mississippi. Everyone had a good night sleep so we were up a little earlier today. Consequently we got off to an early start. We arrived at Ann’s to find that no one had come in and finished our job!

It still looked like we had a mountain to move in order to finish, but we were diligent…

Mike and Dave finished sawing up the bathtub and got it out of the house. Homer went to work hanging dry wall in the master bedroom, while Jan & Jim began hanging dry wall in the back bedroom. Robin and Dee began cleaning up until we got some board hung, then they began mudding and taping the new drywall.

A few challenges popped up with the depth of the pre-installed electrical outlets and the varying thickness of the previously installed dry wall. But we were ingenious and undaunted in our tasks.

By 12:30 we realized that were further ahead than we expected.

We took our lunch break at a place called; “Bozo’s”. It was shrimp & oyster Po-Boys all around. “Bozo’s” is just a hole in the wall kind of place, but the food was incredible. We had a lunch that would have cost at least $15 per person back home, but here two could eat for $14!

Our new friend Jack recommended both Bozo’s and the place we went to last night. Jack is our new hero!

We returned to our task at 1:30 and before we knew it, our time with Ann was over. The job was finished, at least to a point where the next team will take over.

We had a tearful “goodbye” with Ann. She took pictures of all of us, and we took pictures with her. She gave each of us handwritten card of thanks, then with many hugs we loaded into the van, and with Ann “waving us on” we headed back to our “residence”.

No injuries to report today. We are thankful for a safe week.

A new team arrived this evening. We were able to have dinner with them and share our stories with them.

It is going on 10pm, the van is loaded, the GPS is set for home. After devotions and our evening meeting with Jan, we will go to bed early as we will be leaving for home at 6am. Our stay is ending much sooner than any of us prefer or are ready for.

Day 4 Katrina Trip Injury Report

Robin's foot is a little sore, but healing well. No new injuries today.
Dee Dee's cuts are healing. No new injuries today.
Mike: 0
Dave: Minor cut on knee from kneeling on a prybar. DOH!
Jim: 0
Jan: No injuries, but suffering from a migraine.
Homer: 0

Our guitar playin friend.

The marker in the ground at the base of the monument.

This is the placque on the monument in the park where we eat lunch. We feel so blessed to be a part of the relief effort.

Monument to mark Katrina's arrival

Day 4 - Katrina Relief

The team was tired today. Nobody is sleeping very well. We're just too motivated to work!

We got up on time, but got a slow start to the day because we had to make a trip to Lowe’s for some materials and tools.

The temperature was a little cooler today and the humidity was down a bit. So working was warm but bearable. There was no breeze however, so our lunchtime break at the beach was pretty warm.

We had a lot to do today; install new insulation, begin replacing drywall, remove a bathroom vanity and sink, commode, and bathtub. So we broke up into teams; Robin and I installed insulation, Dee Dee and Jan were our drywall measurer/cutters, Mike and Homer continued destruction by removing yet more drywall in the bathroom, and Dave bounced from room to room trying to keep us from destroying Ann’s house any further!

We didn’t get up as much drywall as I had hoped for. In fact, because I accidentally dry-walled over an electrical outlet I had to take that sheet down. In the process I realized that the outlets need to be remounted…a task we haven’t figured out how we will do yet.

In the midst of things, Ann ( the owner ) asked if we could remove her bathtub as she would like to order a new one. Dave ended up having to use the “saws all” to cut it up because it is too large to fit through the framed-in doors. Needless to say, this is not a fiberglass tub. It is cast iron…(Yes, we could use some high speed carbon blades)

By the way, the way I discovered the outlet that was covered over, was when I attempted to run a drywall screw into it! Luckily, I missed the actual outlet and was hitting the space between the outlet and utility box. Otherwise, Jan would be conducting a memorial service tonight.

As we sat in the park on our lunch break a man with a guitar came over and asked if he could sing for us. He writes gospel lyrics and sets them to contemporary tunes. Then, a friend of his was casting a 14-foot net into the ocean to catch mullet. So we wandered down to the shore to watch. (Fascinating characters here in Mississippi) Anyhow, watching this guy fish made us all hungry for seafood, so this evening we are off on a seafood dining adventure.

Day 3 - Katrina Trip Injury Report

Dee Dee: 1 cut finger, 1 cut on right Knee
Robin: nail through boot into right foot
Jim: 0
Mike: 0
Dave: 0
Homer: 0
Jan: 0

Day 3 - Katrina Relief Trip

We arrived at our assigned job site at 8am today. We met Ann; a 77 year old widow who lives about 6 blocks from the beach.

Ann’s insurance company told her that she didn’t live in a flood zone. Consequently she was ineligible for flood insurance.

Her home sits on a foundation about 18 inches high. Yet, the floodwaters reached the two-foot mark inside, where it sat for 3 days.

Our mission is to remove the water damaged drywall throughout the house from the floor to two feet up. Additionally, we are removing damaged flooring and sub-flooring.

We were successful today in removing the drywall and insulation and sub-floor from three rooms. Tonight, the exposed walls will be treated with an anti-fungal spray. Tomorrow we will begin hanging new drywall.

We hope to refinish a bathroom while we are here as well.

We took a break for lunch today and went down to a park by the beach. As we arrived, people were driving past and asking if we were volunteers. When we replied that we were, they thanked us. Passing cars waved their gratitude. I think that we realized at that moment just how important our mission was.

We met a man whose wife went into the hospital just before the storm. The storm prevented him from seeing her before she died. He left the area and just returned three weeks ago.

After lunch we drove through several neighborhoods and viewed the awesome devastation. What were beautiful homes have been reduced to rubble. In many cases there is nothing left but a driveway and a foundation, or a mailbox on an empty lot.

Many of the lots are now up for sale. Evidence that people have either gone broke, or don�t want to chance another �Katrina�.

At the end of our work today, a young boy walking past stopped to talk to us. We asked what it was like to be living in this place at this time. His response was;
�We were doing ok. Then Katrina came, and BAM, we are poor.�

The Great Mississippi Adventure

According to mapquest it is a 15 hour journey from Cleveland, Ohio to Biloxi, Mississippi.

Mapquest is wrong!

We are on Day 2 of a mission trip to Mississippi to do some Katrina Relief. Day 1 was a day of travel. It took us from 1pm Cleveland time to 8am ( next day ) to get here. Of course the van we are travelling in kept stalling out which didn't help. But we had a good trip that was relatively uneventful and arrived in time to eat breakfast and then get to work. So, at this point in time, we have been awake for about 32 hours. We are doing amazingly well. I guess there is energy derived from doing something for someone else.

We are staying in a temporary housing unit that was constructed for people coming here to work. I was pleasantly surprised to find a wireless internet connection. We will try to update on a daily basis.

Faster Than A Speeding Rebate Check

Several weeks ago, my cell phone decided it had made enough calls and was no longer interested in functioning. So, I wandered into the local Radio Shack and picked up a new Samsung A900 to be used on the Sprint system.

I was told that I qualified for a $100 rebate through Sprint as long as I extended my service agreement. Seemed like a good plan. So after I programmed my new phone I sorted through the rebate instructions and mailed them in.

Four weeks later, I received a notice from Sprint stating that since I had NOT extended my contract they would not honor the $100 rebate. I promptly did nothing then forgot about the whole thing.

This morning I received an email from Sprint telling me that my rebate was in the final stages of processing and that I would be receiving my rebate in four weeks.

My question is this…in this day of high technology, how is it that it takes a “hi-tech” company like Sprint over 8 weeks to process a rebate check? I’ve seen houses built faster than that.

While I’m on this “hi tech” tirade…Why can’t another “hi-tech” company; DELL accept on-line account payments?

These things keep me up at night.

First District Detective Jonathan "AJ" Schroeder, Badge #2191, was killed in the line of duty last evening while serving an arrest warrant at a home near West 98th Street and Madison Avenue. The subject of the warrant was wanted for an Aggravated Burglary and Rape which occurred in our city on August 25th. As Detective Schroeder and other Officers approached the front door, the suspect opened fire, striking Detective Schroeder above his bulletproof vest. He was pronounced dead minutes later at Metrohealth Medical Center. The suspect, who yields a very long criminal history, was captured and is being held at city jail, and several charges including the Aggravated Murder of Detective Schroeder and the Attempted Murder of the other officers are expected within days.
Detective Schroeder was a 10 year veteran of the Department, and he leaves behind a wife and infant son. He was a native of the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania area and a graduate of Penn Hills High School and Kent State University.
The Cleveland Police Patrolmen's Association would like to thank the Doctors and Nurses of the Metrohealth Medical Center, the citizens and businesses of Greater Cleveland, the media outlets , and the police departments of Penn Hills, PA, the Pennsylvania State Police, The Ohio State Highway Patrol, and our Cuyahoga County suburbs for their heroics, professionalism, prayers and assistance during this tragedy.
A fund has been set up to assist the family. Donations may be dropped off or delivered to:

The Jonathan Schroeder Memorial Fund
c/o The Cleveland Police Credit Union
2301 Payne Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio 44114
(216) 861-3535

The Two Faces Of Cleveland

So today is the second day that the site selection team from the Republican National Convention is in Cleveland to evaluate it as a potential site.

Everywhere you look, every electronic media report, every publication in town is touting the attributes of this fair city. Some have gone so far as to promote; “Hug a Republican Day”.

I hope that all the effort produces the desired results. The RNC 2008 convention would no doubt bring dramatic opportunities to Cleveland. Further, Cleveland has demonstrated on multiple occasions just how “friendly” it can be as a host.

Here is what bothers me…

Traditionally, while the balance of the state votes Republican, the good people of the City of Cleveland do NOT support Republican candidates.

The major daily; The Plain Dealer is so far left they are backed up against the margin.

The same politicians who are now asking everyone to “Hug A Republican” are the same individuals who normally “Mug a Republican”. But now for the sake of the regions' economics are “putting aside party differences”.

Excuse me, but the basis for virtually every point of disagreement between the parties is economics.

I am reminded of the Bush tax refund from W’s first term. There were many shouting that it wasn’t enough to make a difference. Others were bemoaning that those funds should have been used to fund humanitarian needs in the cities. What confounded me is that none of those critics gave the money back to the IRS or even offered to.

As the song from the Broadway show Cabaret says; “Money makes the world go ‘round”. To prove it, today even the Democrats in Cleveland are thinking like Republicans.

Good luck Cleveland, you need a break like this.

My son, Tim gave me the dvd of "Neil Young, Heart Of Gold" for my birthday. Whether or not you think you are a Neil Young fan, do yourself a favor and see this movie! For a preview, click on this link: http://www.neilyoung.com/prairiewind.html

Killer Frogs

OK...so the picture below is not really the frog in our pond... We did however watch a large frog consume a mouse a few nights ago...Yeah, I know we couldn't believe it either, but there it was right in front of us. This frog about the size of a softball, stalked, caught, drowned, and ate a mouse. We immediately went on line and did a search for "frog diet". We found no mention of frogs eating mice. Evidently as we always thought they are supposed to eat insects, spiders, worms, etc. but no mention of mice. So evidently, our little water garden is inhabited by mutant killer frogs... Stay tuned. This could result in a new movie; "Frogs on a Plane."

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you already know that we went to considerable length to build a water garden last summer. It has become its own ecosystem. We have several fish including an 18" catfish that feeds at the surface. The most surprising development however was the discovery of a killer frog.

There are a million stories in the city...

Listening to my police radio this evening... the big call in our crime ridden city:

"5455 please respond to North Star. Complainant advises the ice cream truck is playing its music too loud."

My comments are too numerous to print.

I'm Looking for Someone To Sue

This past Weds. evening I went for an early evening swim in our pool. While in the pool I noticed that our inflatable lobster that normally floats around in there, was missing. Since I keep it tied to the filter return line, I knew it couldn't have gone far. Suspecting that the wind had blown it over the edge of the pool, I boosted myself over the edge and found it languishing in the stones around the sidewall.

I leaned over and grabbed on to the errant bottom feeder and as I brought it back into the pool a swarm of yellow jackets that had evidently built a nest under the edge of the pool, came after me.

The first strike hit me on the left bicep. The second shot was to my right eyebrow, then a third to my stomach and a fourth to my back as I dove under the water. When I resurfaced, the swarm was still buzzing around so I went back under. Luckily 3 of the 4 attackers drowned immediately, but the first one was still biting me on the arm. I gave him a good smack and he dropped lifelessly into the wash with the rest of them.

Despite the pain, I went immediately to my backyard shed and retrieved the wasp and hornet spray. Ignoring my potentially fatal wounds ( I am allergic to bee stings ), I went back to the scene of the attack, located their encampment, and destroyed every last one of them.

Robin went to the drug store and purchased some sort of medication to calm the pain. It worked pretty well on the eyebrow, stomach and back wounds. The bicep however is another story. It's been 4 days and my left bicep still is swollen and itchy.

The upside is that I have a left bicep like a power lifter. ( I'm thinking about trapping a yellow jacket and getting my right arm done. )

So anyhow, in this world of litigation, there ought to be someone I can hold responsible; The manufacturer of the inflatable lobster, because it should have a warning on it that says;" Lobster may get blown out of pool and land near a yellow jacket nest". Perhaps I could go after the pool manufacturer for not putting a warning on the pool; " Yellow jackets may nest near your pool, be careful when retrieving inflatable lobsters." I'm thinking that somehow my neighbors must be liable because they should have noticed this nest while I was on vacation and warned me about it when I returned home. The other possibility is that since allergies are somehow passed through genetics, my parents should be responsible for this tragedy.There is also a local high school football team that has as their mascot a large yellow jacket. It seems to me that by humanizing the yellow jacket in this fashion, they have masked the danger of these beings. Consequently, I and most likely others have become complacent of this hazard.

So, if anyone knows the name and number of the attorney who handled the McDonalds Hot Coffee lawsuit, please pass it on to me.

Finally, someone has done some real research and published a valid report on a vital issue...

Finally... Research I can believe in...

Ok... so I know I am very critical of the media, and I am very skeptical and critical of so-called research studies. Basically, I believe that all of these reports are biased to prove a point, and that in today's world you can report anything as long as you attach the words; "research has shown".

Salt Fork State Park, Ohio

A Summer Camping Vacation Epilogue

Epilogue

We arrived back home Weds. at 12:30pm. Our oldest daughter came over with lunch and spent the day with us. We swam in our pool, grilled dinner on our deck, ate dinner in our central air, and swam some more at night. We even built a campfire in our fire ring on the deck. Then we sat together and looked up at the stars and held hands.

A Summer Camping Vacation Part IV

Day 3. I awaken to more heat. I make my way to the restroom, look in the mirror and discover a sunburn on my nose that makes me look like one of those street winos with the alcoholic bulging nose. Vacation doesn’t get any better than this… We are going home. Sorry, can’t take it anymore. The weather people are saying it will be hotter today than it has been. I don’t need to prove anything anymore. I have been beaten by the elements. The only question is; “How fast can I break camp?” I don’t even mind the heat now. The end is in sight. Once the trailer is back on the truck, I can rip off my sweat soaked shirt, put on a clean dry one, and climb into the breeze…

We didn’t even think about taking pictures. It would have been too much effort. We did take one photo. On the way home, we were looking down the road and asking… What is that? Looks like some sort of tanker truck…What is it? It’s an enormous cow on the back of a truck…the heat must have finally fried our brains we are both hallucinating… but wait… we can’t be having the same hallucination… so here it is…

The highlight of our camping vacation 2006

A Summer Camping Vacation Part III

Day 2

It actually felt a little chilly around 3am. But without the box fan it would have probably been uncomfortable. Robin only got up 4 times last night. At least Chloe slept. The raccoons got into our garbage, but that was our fault.

Robin made eggs and bacon for breakfast. We didn’t have a toaster so we buttered some bread and put it into a fry pan. We are so adaptable.

Then despite the 94 degrees we went for a walk in the woods. It was one of the most serene places I have ever seen. There wasn’t another soul around. We walked on a deer path deep into the woods where we could hear nothing except the sound of the trees. Chloe was in heaven with all the new scents and sounds. We didn’t notice that our hike was primarily down hill, until we turned around to go back. Damn it is hot.

On to the lake… Damn their no pets rule. Chloe is going swimming with us.

It is amazing how warm the lake is. It literally feels like bath water. It doesn’t cool you down at all. I am up to my neck in water and still sweating. I am really trying to be a sport and not complain, but I can’t think of anything except our swimming pool and air conditioning back home. So we leave the lake about 5pm and return to our site. If it is anything like last night, we have survived the day and can look forward to a pleasant evening.

Yeah right…the temperature and humidity are going up! AND there is no breeze. We make a half-hearted attempt to cook and eat dinner. Robin is such a trooper. I have stopped dreaming about my swimming pool and the A/C. I am now asking Jesus to take me home.

At 9:00 it is still over 90 degrees. So we go out for ice cream. Anything to get into the air-conditioned Ranger. I would have agreed to go to a cock-fight if it meant 2 minutes in the breeze. The ice cream run was worth it. By the time we got back, the temperature had fallen to 88.

A campfire is mandatory. Right? So I spent about an hour competing with the thick damp air to get a fire started. Finally, at 10:10pm success. The fire is started. The heat however has taken its toll on all of us. Everyone falls asleep. Including the fire.

Finally, we move into the trailer around midnight. Thank you God for the gift of box fans.

A Summer Camping Vacation Part II

So, even though it is already in the low 90’s, there is a nice breeze and the online reservation service said our site is in “full shade”…

Site G-24… I backed that trailer into the spot in one try. Like a seasoned trucker. I remembered everything Tim told me about set up. In about 15 minutes we had the camper set up and the truck unloaded. Ok, so we forgot to fill the propane tanks, and left the garden hose for water hook up at home. We have a butane burner… we just have to find butane canisters and purchase a garden hose. How hard can that be?

4:00pm: The box fan we brought is keeping the trailer fairly cool as we venture back out in the truck to purchase our butane canisters and garden hose.

REPORT: No butane canisters available. ANYWHERE.
No problem, we’ll purchase a new camp stove that runs on propane. Walmart comes through with a $20 stove.

5:00pm: Went swimming at the beach. They have signs posted that pets are not allowed on the beach. I can understand that. Who wants to be running barefeet in the sand and then find something that resembles and Italian cigar squished between your toes. This would be a fine rule and a logical one at that…IF THEY DIDN’T HAVE SUCH A GOOSE PROBLEM!. Our little dog couldn’t have competed with either the size or the amount of crap that the Geese left on the beach. Hopefully the campsite beach will be cleaner.

Returning to the campsite we noticed that “full shade” has become “partial shade” with the sun coming in directly from the west. No problem…the temperature is starting to go down. Time to hook up the water supply…

“Has Tim ever tested this?” Robin asked. “Of course he has. No son of mine would go camping without knowing the full capabilities of his equipment.” Said I.

So where is all the water coming from? So much for indoor water supply.

8:30pm Dinner is over, Chloe is entangled around the trailer but soon, the sun is down, the fire is lit… a little warmer than planned, but holding hands, and gazing at the stars.

This is exactly like Tim's pop-up camper. Except it doesn't have an air conditioner. But who needs A/C when you are camping?

It's a Summer Camping Vacation Part I

We attempted to take a camping vacation.

Our son recently purchased a pop-up camper. It is a really nice unit that he purchased far under value. So when he brought it home last spring, our recollections of cool summer evenings by the campfire, gazing at the starlit skies, and holding hands under the moonlight caused us to make a reservation at Salt Fork State Park. Of course the day we made the reservation it was a perfect 78 degree day with about 35% humidity. It was the kind of day that doesn't last in NE Ohio.

The last few weeks have brought some really nasty weather patterns. We have had unbelievable downpours resulting in massive flooding throughout the area. We have had several days of 90+ degree days and 90+% humidity.

So as we got closer to our departure day, we joked that we would be faced with either torrential rain, or record breaking heat...

As I loaded firewood into the truck last Sunday night, the sweat poured off of me. I kept thinking...we have central air in our house.

Then, I loaded the bbq grill on to the truck, and packed the charcoal and lighter fuel and thought...Cooking outdoors without the benefit of eating indoors can be a buggy, hot, muggy nightmare...but Robin is really excited about this. Put on a sweatband Jim.

Tim, took me out and showed me how to set up the camper and make everything work. Then he told me that the trailer lights were out because the connection had dragged on the highway all the way home from Marblehead the night before. That's ok I thought, "I can work on that first thing in the morning... while it is still relatively cool out".

9:00am Temperature is already 85 degreees. Wow... the pool sure looks nice.

We planned to leave at 11am. We would have made it too, if the trailer hitch would have opened properly and locked on to the ball. Ten or fifteen minutes of jumping up and down on the hitch like the gorilla in the old Samsonite commercial, finally got it locked up...One last shower and we were on our way...to the gas station to put air in the trailer tires.

11:35am We are finally on the road. The Ranger is doing a pretty good job of pulling the trailer except for a some acceleration challenges on the highway ramps.

12:30pm We're both getting hungry already. So, a stop at Wendy's was in order. Beside, Chloe had to pee. ( oh yeah, we brought the puppy ). So while Robin went in to get food, I took Chloe out to drain. Not being accustomed to travel, she developed "public urination anxiety" and chose instead to bark and whine incessantly in the general direction she last saw Robin.

12:50pm Back on the road. Gretta the GPS lady says we'll be there by 1:37pm. Although she keeps updating her predictions based on my speed. We were picturing the GPS lady sitting at a desk with maps and calculators spread out in front of her...I named her Gretta. Robin doesn't like that name so if you can think of something better send me a comment. Until then I will continue to call her Gretta. )

1:38pm Arrival at Salt Fork State Park...

End Part I

Road Apples

It was reported this morning that 36% of the American public believes that the US Government either planned and executed the 9/11 terrorist attacks, or at least sat by an allowed them to happen.

The news report goes on to explain that there were 1010 people interviewed to determine these results. In other words, the poll takers were able to locate 364 morons who were capable of nodding in agreement to a jaded question.

What else is wrong with this picture? Let's see, how many people are there in the U.S.? What exactly was the criteria for who was interviewed? Are these the same people that listen to late night radio and also believe that the Japanese Mob has control over global weather? Are they 364 leftist liberals who merely believe that our current national leadership is responsible for every societal ill. Did they interview kindergarten students? Did they interview nursing home altzheimer patients? Did they interview sports legends, washed up actors, you, me?

There is no doubt in my mind that there are idiots who believe that 9/11 was a government plot. The media would like us to believe the numbers are 36% of the U.S. or greater. They somehow believe that "perception is reality" even if the perception is created. If however this statistic is correct, we should be able to go outside and speak to our neighbors on either side and find that one of the households share in this ridiculous notion. Again... one in three!

I have news for the news. Perception is NOT reality. Especially when perception is created by ill-conceived malice. Perception may be some persons reality but it is NOT truth.

Give me a university sponsored grant and I gurantee I can interview 1010 people and develop a report stating that 36% of the country believes that the earth is flat.

Just try actually finding those people.

Driving in Strongsville

Driving around Strongsville today, I found myself behind a Green Saturn. Across the rear bumper in huge block letters was printed: " Do not tailgate, child on board".

I have seen this admonition before but usually, it says, "show dogs on board". So about the time I am thinking this woman is a whacked out over protective mother, she cuts across two lanes of traffic (without signaling)and makes a right turn on red without stopping. I witnessed a minimum of 5 other vehicles react to avoid being hit, or hitting her.

I wish I had the the time to follow her and edit her bumper to read; " Do not tailgate, IDIOT at wheel".

I really feel sorry for the child on board if it survives mom's driving, he/she is sure to have a miserable, overprotected life.

On the other hand, if you happen to see this vehicle stay back, the child on board might be the driver.

I had a great day today

I had a great day today.

I got up early this morning for a business meeting, then went to the eye doctor for a follow-up, then I met with a young couple that was purchasing a new home ( I wrote the mortgage loan for them.) None of that was what made it a great day though. I set a goal for myself today that where ever I went, I would make someone laugh...brighten up the day for someone. I did it. I complimented people for doing good work, I told jokes, I made funny comments, I smiled at people I didn't know...

It is really amazing that when you go out of your way to compliment someone, or to make someone laugh, that it really changes your outlook as well.

The day got better...If you go back to my July 2005 posts, you will find a post where I talked about running into an old friend ( Russ ) from high school. Well, he and his wife Laura are in town, and we were able to get together for dinner tonight. They were only able to stay for a couple hours, but in that time I felt so blessed to have reunited with Russ and to get to know his wife.

It is pouring down rain ( again ). With as much rain as we have had lately, it would be easy to be depresed. But I don't care...

It was a great day.

John and Angie celebrated their 60th Wedding Anniversary on July 20. The couple met at the end of World War II when John returned from service in the U.S. Navy. They were married in Cleveland on July 20, 1946. John was born in Pennsylvania and grew up in Warren, Ohio. Angie was born on Christmas Day in Cleveland and grew up on the west side.

Their first son, John A. was born in September of 1947 while the couple was living in Cleveland.

Against the advice of all their friends and relatives, John and Angie purchased their home in North Royalton in 1954. �Everyone told us it was too far out�, said John. �The only person who thought we did the right thing by moving here, was my Dad� added Angie.

Their second son, James was born in August of 1955.

John worked as a draftsman until he developed his own sign business; The business is now closed, John is retired and the couple is enjoying their home and property. The highlights of their life are entertaining friends and family at their home. The family now includes six adult grandchildren and one 5-month old great-grandson.

Recently John and Angie appeared as guest lecturers at a local college, where they spoke about John�s WWII Naval service and Angie�s experiences at home during WWII.

The couple and their family celebrated the anniversary at a local restaurant with their entire family.

Trip to the BMV... What is wrong with this system?

It is that special time that comes along every four years in the State of Ohio...
Time to renew my driver's license.

So, I made the pilgrimage to the BMV. I was pleased to find a short line. In fact, I pulled number 47, and they were already servicing 46. So with not much of a wait, I didn't have much time to people watch. I did however witness a rather troubling occurance.

Number 46 was an older gentleman also renewing his license. He was instructed to gaze into the vision testing device. After giving him instructions to watch for flashing lights on the right and left, he was asked to read from line 5A. He couldn't see it. So the agent asked him to read line 4A. He couldn't read that either, so she asked him to read 3A. Evidently, he was able to see about 50% of that line, so she gave him a hint on the rest of the line. Then she asked if he could see the flashing red light... He said; "what light?" She said, "the one on the right". He said, "No". She said, "Can you see the green flashing light on the left?" He said "yes" Then she asked if he could see the flashing light on the right, he said he could. She congratulated him on passing his vision test, then asked him to sign his license application. HE COULDN'T FIND THE SIGNATURE LINE! She politely pointed it out to him. He signed, his application, got his picture taken, and received his renewed driver's license. Yeah... I feel safe driving on the same road with this guy.

Independence Day

Our second President, John Adams wrote; Independence Day "ought to be celebrated by pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other..."

If only we could...

We do alright with the pomp and parade, we even manage to see shows, play some games, and view some sports. Bells do ring. But guns, bonfires, and illuminations?

Virtually every community in America has laws prohibitng bonfires. Many states prohibit the private use of fireworks. In the great State of Ohio, you may purchase them and possess them, just don't light them within the borders of Ohio. You may have a "campfire" in our community as long as you are cooking on it. Guns? Yeah right. If you have a CCL in Ohio you may carry it, however if it is visible you are in trouble. If it is concealed when in your car, you are in trouble. Many merchants mistakenly post "no firearms permitted" signs in their windows (thus letting the bad guys know that they are unprotected). And, there aren't too many places where you could even fire the weapon without going to jail, even if you were merely shooting at paper targets.

Tonight, every police department in Ohio will be deluged with "complaints" about fireworks. By policy, they must respond. Most cops I know, would prefer to be home lighting their own bottlerockets. But, we must be protected from ourselves. Otherwise, we will not buckle-up or wear our helmets. We will mutilate ourselves with fireworks, guns, and bonfires. We will take too many drugs, drink too much alcohol, eat too much fat, smoke too many cigarettes, etc, etc, etc.

America used to be free. When Adams, Jefferson, Franklin, and the others risked their lives and pledged their fortunes to free us from tyranny, they really didn't plan that someday we would legislate our freedoms away over time.

Don't get me wrong, I wear a seat belt all the time. I think people who ride motorcylces are idiots if they don't wear a helmet. I don't want everyone in America to carry guns. I do however believe that we all have inalienable rights that include the right to mutilate ones self with fireworks, drink too much, drive in a car without a belt, squash our brains on pavement if we so choose and when properly trained carry a gun to help protect ourselves, our families, and this great country.

Disagree with me? That's your right. Many men and women have made the ultimate sacrifice to give us all the right to voice our opinions. Let's stop watering down their efforts, by legislating away our freedom.

It is the fourth of July. The birth of the greatest nation on earth. Let's celebrate with pomp and parade, shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations. When the cops arrive, offer them a hot-dog, coke, and some apple pie.

30 years and still counting...

We've been through some things together, with trunks of memories still to come. We found things to do in stormy weather...

Long may we run, long may we run...

Working at the Relay For Life all night. Please see my post from Dec. 4, 2004 "In Memory", as a tribute to Kim and all the victims and survivors.

with diploma

before

The fam at OSU

Congratulations Stef!!! It was a great day... and we are very proud of you!!!!

Graduating from Ohio State University this weekend. Wasn't this picture just taken last week?

DaVinci Code vs Monty Python

Our minister delivered a wonderful sermon on Sunday in which he made it quite clear that the DaVinci Code is FICTION. He further stated that anyone whose faith would be shaken by this movie must not have had much faith to begin with. I couldn't agree more.

Anyhow, the sermon prompted some discussion over dinner yesterday and got me thinking...Why was there no fuss over "The Quest For The Holy Grail" as presented by Monty Python? In it, the French claimed to all ready have one. "It's very nice."

"Bring me a shrubbery."

"Find the cost of Freedom, buried in the ground. Mother Earth will swallow you. Lay your body down." CSNY

The land of the free

Once again I must apologize to my loyal readers. It has been a long time since my last post. I haven't been feeling real creative lately, so my comments tonight are pretty much limited to a catch up of everything that has been going on...

Both my aunt and uncle are having heart challenges. Aunt Ann is recovering, Uncle Arney is about to have a bypass.

My Dad has now purchased a new Chevy Impala equipped with On-Star and is very proudly driving around talking on his new hands free On-Star cell phone. Mom continues to cook.

My nephew Steve just bought his first house. By now, he should have his belongings in place. In just a few weeks he will make his first mortgage payment ( on a loan I set up for him ). Welcome Steve to the world of having a mortgage, which I believe is a word that actually means "death grip".

My kids all went to Macinac Island for the weekend. I hope they at least bring me back a cheap T-Shirt!

I attended a WMD/Haz-mat/know your terrorist training class at the Columbus Police Academy. The class was pretty good, but the best part was the tour of their state-of-the-art facility.

Robin planted our garden yesterday; tomatos, 4 types of peppers, zucchini, beans, and various herbs ( the legal kind ). I found a potato in the basement when I was looking for beach towels. It had quite a long root on it, so we planted that just for yucks.

My friend Todd just got a really great promotion. When I spoke to him about it, he paid me a wonderful compliment. Todd had worked for me at one point, and he told me that I was by far his best boss ever. That really meant alot to me.

Stefanie graduates from college on June 11. Then she will start grad school. She will not be coming home as we had thought. But she will be closer to home this summer than she has been for the last 3 summers. She did bring her truck home with about $3,000 worth of damage. It seems a brick sorority house broadsided her.

I opened our pool this weekend. The filter pump was dead so I had to buy a new one. It also seems that a family of mice took up residence in our "molly brown" floating raft. Neither us or the mice will be using it any longer.

New cars, damaged cars, college, surgery, new jobs, gardens, vacations, mortgages, and etc. All possible because somewhere in a distant part of the world, men and women sacrificed their lives so that we could enjoy the freedoms that we have. Lower your flag to half staff tomorrow until noon. Then raise it high. Take time to say a prayer for those brave souls that gave the last measure of courage. You might even sing The Star Spangled Banner.

Too much TV

Does anybody else think that UPS has made a huge mistake in remarketing themselves as: "Brown"? It just seems to me that UPS already had tremendous equity in the name: UPS. Everyone knows who they are, what they do, and how well they do it. What kind of advertising agency decides that this type of equity should be traded in on something as bland and unidentifiable as "Brown". Am I alone on this, or does the whole concept of "Brown" conjur up something that most people don't want to discuss? Maybe they just think it is cute. I think long term UPS will regret this campaign.

Meanwhile, there was a news teaser tonight indicating that microwave popcorn contains dangerous chemicals... Here we go...

Some idiot on the east side of Cleveland went "postal" on one of the new electronic voting machines. It seems that he was frustrated with the operation of the device...I really have trouble idenifying with people who find voting so difficult. Whether it was the old written ballots, punch cards, or the new electronic machines...these things just aren't that difficult to use. Are people just getting dumber, or have our brains really been turned to "Brown" by too much TV?

"Why are you looking among the dead for the living? He is not here. He has been raised."

Dad turned 80 on Sunday. We had a family celebration at a local restaurant. The whole family was there including the first great-grandchild; Connor. It was a great day...Thank you University Hospital!

.

HUA

Two more cops have been hit by an HUA driver. There are now more cops injured or killed in traffic accidents than by gunfire.

Last year Ryan Nagy of the Middleburg Hts. PD lost his leg and almost his life because of a driver crossing over two lanes of traffic and ramming into his cruiser as he wrote a traffic ticket. Earlier this year an Ohio State Trooper was hit in a similar accident. One of our guys got hit while directing traffic around an accident. He got hit by a woman who evidently didn't see the two police cars, and the two-car mva in the intersection. Now, last night two Bratenahl officers got clobbered by an 18 wheeler.

Last summer I had several close calls myself...One teenage driver didn't see the construction equipment, the police car or me in the middle of an intersection and almost clipped me. One drunk driver just shouldn't have been on the road, almost hit me. One irrate idiot aimed at me. At an accident scene one driver just didn't think he needed to slow down as he swerved around the wreck, the tow truck, the ambulance and three police cruisers. Several elderly drivers just plain got confused when they couldn't use their normal route to get to the Giant Eagle store...so far I have been lucky.

I have an idea...hang up the phone, put your make-up on at home, read the paper at your breakfast table, leave the radio alone, have sex in bed, quit smoking, and slow down. A cop's job is dangerous enough without having to worry about getting run over.

Oh yeah...HUA: Head Up Ass

more news

It just keeps on keepin on...

Now TV news is reporting a study that is linking grilling meat to cancer. Of course, this is not the lead story. It is just the "tease" throughout the evening. The lead story has to do with a stray dog.

Does anyone want to send me some money to fund my study? I believe that watching TV news can lead to permanent brain atrophy.

This just in...

Here we go... This evening's news report ( on Newschannel 5, or Power of 5, or whatever WEWS in Cleveland is calling itself these days) included a story reporting that people are using their cell phones.

WEWS reported that people are doing business on their cell phones, calling friends, calling for information on directions, entertainment, restaurants, etc. They reported that this is indicative of a society wide "cell phone addiction". There was a time when this was considered market saturation. Evidently, it is far more serious.

So, here is some news that I feel it is important to report...

The National Institute of Highway Safety reports that people are driving their cars from point A to point B.

The Food and Drug Administration reported today that people are utilizing refridgerators to keep food cold.

The City of Cleveland Water Treatment Plant is reporting that people are utilizing toilets as a depository for human waste.

The list goes on and it is terrifying. Duan Puelman and the I-Team better get going on this before society as we know it comes to an end.

I would like to write some more, but I have to admit, I am so addicted to using my cell phone, I am getting light headed and experiencing stomach cramps. I must get to my cell phone and dial someone, anyone...

AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!

Is it just me or are commercials getting worse?

I am really having diffuculty imagining a CEO, Owner, etc. sitting down to a presentation by their ad agency and actually agreeing to some of the crap that is being broadcast.

For instance; Burger King Corp. Do they really think that the creepy King is going to sell more burgers? How about Wendy's? Their most recent contribution features an obnoxious bimbo over-utilizing the word "sensational" as she tosses Wendy's salad...

I don't know about anybody else, but in both cases the ads have caused me to drive past both Burger King and Wendy's or just go hungry.

Wait...thank you fast food ad agencies... due to your ineptitude ( is that a word? ) I am eating healthy!!!

Anyhow, a new feature on this blog will be my reactions to various ad campaigns. If you wish to contribute, please do so through the comment area.

Hey Todd...maybe it is time for us to start that agency we always talked about???

Welcome BABY!!

So like I said, earlier... my brother John is a Grandpa... this makes me a grand uncle? great uncle? Some have suggested monkeys uncle, but somehow that seems like a slam on the baby as oppossed to me... so let's stick with Great Uncle... 'cause I AM a GREAT uncle! Anyhow... here's my new little buddy: Connor Anthony born on March 11. Congrats to Scott and Jennifer!

Connor Anthony 3-11-2006

What else?

So what else has been going on in the weeks that I haven’t posted…

Tim brought home a black lab puppy. Someone who deserves to be thrown from a moving car left this 10-week old puppy on the street in Lakewood, Ohio. Tim, who’s heart is “bigger than his brain” ( “I appreciate that Clark.”), brought her home with the hope that she would be a permanent resident.

Actually, if we hadn’t had such bad experiences with big dogs in the past, she would have had a chance of staying. Unfortunately when we designed our house we didn’t put in a service door from the kitchen or the garage, so the only entrance to the back yard is from our family room. In the summer when we have dry days or in the winter when the ground is frozen, this isn’t a problem. For the other 355 days of the year, the paws of a 80 lb. lab each contribute 5 lbs of mud to the carpet.

The real problem however is that Chloe, the 4 lb mini dachshund didn’t want a roomie. She intimidated the lab and spent her days with her ears down, and looking real unhappy. So, the search was on for the perfect home…

Congratulations to my brother John on the acquisition of his new dog!

Oh yeah, congratulations on becoming a grandpa too… ( I will cover that in another post. )

Margie 1935-2006

I'm back...

I was reminded by my daughter last night that it has been a long time since I have posted. To my thousands of faithful readers; a heartfelt apology is in order.

Shortly after my last post, I learned of the passing of a dear old friend; Marge.

Marge was what Joni Mitchell would call “ a drug store truck drivin’ man”. She was the conduit to my career in entertainment marketing. She knew who she was, and who everyone else was. There was a wrong way to do things and then there was the right way; Margie’s way. She was what you would call “a character”. Despite her rough edges, you couldn’t help but love Marge.

We worked together for about 15 years. She bailed me out of some tough situations, we fought, we laughed, we plotted, and we learned. In the end, we hadn’t seen each other in about 5 years. That really bothers me. But this is what happens in life. We have good intentions to stay in touch…”we’ll do lunch sometime, call me…” But life gets in the way and we forget to live. We intend to post to our blog every day. Then “Marge” dies, and the wind is sucked out of your sails, and as hard as you try to be funny and creative, it takes days…weeks to get your senses back.

Marge is reorganizing things “upstairs” now. I’m sure of it. By the time we hook up again for that lunch, God will have learned a thing or two about how to get things done.
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis.

" Hey, Hey, My My... Rock n Roll will never die. There's more to the picture than meets the eye. "

Why Silverbulletsandrust?

Ok...Silver bullets: another way of saying "Pearls of Wisdom", or at least "things on my mind". Where did it come from? Taken from the name of the greatest rock n roll band in history ( at least in my estimation ) Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band.

Rust? We're all gettin' older... and with that comes wisdom... Meanwhile, my favorite contemporary song writer; Neil Young..."Rust Never Sleeps"... There is alot of symbolism in that statement...

Why am I even writing about this??? Neil Young just released his latest CD: "Prairie Wind"... It is awesome. If you want to hear it, go to www.neilyoung.com and click on the license plate, then click on any of the tunes. I recommend; "When God Made Me".

Meanwhile, the movie "Heart of Gold" is now open...I'm going to see it Saturday night. Wanna go with me?

Could this be Jim?????

The family that skis together...

Yesterday was a big day for the Fam... Tim bought us all lift tickets and equipment rentals for Christmas and yesterday was the day...

Unfortunately Melissa is still having wisdom tooth extraction problems and couldn't go with us, so Stef came home from OSU, Tim's girlfriend Kate came up from Alliance, and we all packed into the "family front wheel drive sleigh" and headed off to the local slopes.

Robin and I were proficient skiers for years, but that was pre-children. For the past 21 years our ski money has been going to dance lessons, guitar lessons, ice-skating lessons, summer camps, and more recently college tuition. With Tim's gift however we realized how much we missed skiing. So effective Feb. 19, 2006 we are back in the realm of the downhill skier world.

There are no real ski slopes in Ohio, so last night was a good re-intro to the sport. We are now foaming at the mouth to get back to Colorado. It is like riding a bike...once you know how, you know how.

Now for Tim, Stef, and Kate...

Tim decided to snowboard. He was on his own, cause I don't know anything about snowboarding. Consequently, he spent alot of time doing inverted aerial manuevers. Of course these manuevers are expressly forbidden by the ski area management, unless like Tim you are not doing them on purpose.

Kate just doesn't know me well enough to trust my skiing instructions. So while she said she had a good time, she stayed on the bunniest of the bunny slopes.

After some coaxing, cajoling, and out and out lying, I convinced Stef to come with me to the top of the slopes then worked with her all the way down. Once she gave up trying to utilize her ski poles ( a worthless item by the way unless you are skiing moguls and/or racing in a slolom. ), she really was doing pretty good.

How ironic that I e-bayed my skis on the same day we started skiing again...I guess now I'll just have to go by some new ones....OHHHRAHHHH!

Goodnight my little Roseanne Roseannadanna

In the words of Roseanne Roseannadanna..." I thought I was gonna die..."

Last night, I had an appointment with a mortgage client. He asked to meet me in my office at 6pm. I usually go to their homes, but because of his job schedule and where he worked he said it would be easier to meet me at my office.

Of course by 6pm everyone else is gone, not only in our office, but in our entire office condo.

"George" came in looking rather depressed. I had a solution for his financial woes, so I thought he would cheer up as I explained it to him. Instead, he became more depressed, so much so that he just stared down at the conference table in silence for what seemed like eternity. Even though I was speaking to him he wasn't responding. Then all of a sudden he started to twitch. That's when I thought I was gonna die. He just had this look of a guy who was at the end of his rope.

Maybe I have seen too many CSI episodes, but I was beginning to imagine the headlines... "Loan Officer Found Dead With Client". I could just see this guy going off the deep end, pulling out a cheap 38 and plugging me then blowing out his own brains. YIKES! I was taking inventory of the area, and planning my moves as to how I would disarm him before he had a chance to draw on me ( of course, I had nothing but my pocket knife, a pencil, and a financial calculator at my disposal ).

So I continue talking to him about how great my solutions were, and that he would be so much better off financially if he would just take my advice... his problems would be over. He wasn't buying it however... he just kept twitching... then he started to speak, only now he was stuttering about how we just not going to do anything... just accept his situation as hopeless...etc... Damn CSI, Law & Order, Criminal Intent, all of you... This guy is about to self destruct, and after all the goofy stuff I've been up against... I'm going to buy it, in this stupid mortgage office... not even a glorious, heroic way to go...

Then, just as strangely as the whole thing started... he stopped twitching, stopped stuttering...he actually smiled, thanked me for my help, and left.

And if you are under 21, you are saying..."Who the hell is Roseanne Roseannadanna?"

Kramer may have had the right idea

There was an episode of Seinfeld once where Kramer decided he didn't want to accept his mail anymore. I am starting to think he had a good idea.

Our mail is getting more weird by the day.

First of all there is the daily barrage of credit card offers. It used to be that we would get 2 or 3 a day. But now that the banks have figured out that we have three adult children (all with jobs), we are up to about 8 envelopes a day just from credit card companies. They are getting really sneaky too. They don't just send letter sized envelopes anymore, now they disguise them in what appear to be "overnight" packages. I guess they think that if they can trick us into opening them we will be more enticed to apply for more credit.

Then there is the every-other day delivery of gift items and promotional items from Marlboro and Parliament. Since non of us smoke, they are really pouring on the heat trying to hook us up. So far we have received 4 money clips, 3 cigarette cases, and two key chains. I'm actually starting to feel guilty. Perhaps I should buy a pack of menthols just to say thanks.

Next comes the offers for further education. Phoenix University started it. Now everday someone wants to sell either Robin or I a masters degree via the internet. It doesn't stop there however. There are offers for Robin to receive further nursing education in exciting areas like: skin & wound care, hospice & palliative nursing. I get offered courses in SWAT tactics, drug enforcement, etc.

Then, because our home based business is called MTS Enterprises, ( a name that we share with a gas & oil drilling company) we receive mountains of offers for exciting magazines like; "Drilling Today", "Power", and "Gas & Oil Monthly". We really enjoy the annual "Gas & Oil Review". It weighs about 8 lbs. and costs someone a fortune to mail it to us.

Of course, you can't forget the "town shopper" coupons, and the missing kids flyers.

Today, there were over 20 pieces of mail. By the time I sorted it all out, there was one piece that we were interested in. A sympathy card from our vet regarding the passing of our dog.

I shovelled the snow out of the driveway in order to walk down to the mailbox at the street and retrieve this stuff. Don't get me wrong, the sympathy card was nice and appreciated. But I could have waited until the snow stopped, and I would have if the mailbox hadn't been overflowing.

With all that mail, I thought the odds were pretty good that there would be at least one check in there. So... help me out here... mail me a check just to give me a reason to go to the mailbox. Otherwise, I may have to brick up the mailbox.

Happy Birthday Robin

Well, tomorrow ( Feb. 6 ) is the big day. We have been celebrating Robin's birthday since last week. We had a great time at the waterpark, then near the end of the week, the gift I bought her on Ebay arrived...A Garmin i2 GPS for her car. What a cool gadget. Anyhow... Tomorrow night we'll have a quiet dinner together.

It's hard to believe that we are the age that we are. We have been together since we were 16 so it is almost impossible to remember life without us being US.

I always tease the family about the need to celebrate my birthday for at least a week. Robin is the one who really deserves it...

Happy Birthday Beautiful... I love you.

Cosmo. Nov. 21, 1991 - Feb. 4, 2006

Just had a wet and wild weekend at Kalahari Resort with the whole family. Celebrating Robins birthday...It was the perfect birthday celebration for a ten year old!!! water slides, snack foods and ice cream for lunch...She is so cute!

Read this carefully....

East Texas's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Texas Aggie students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today.

Search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.

I love Texans...

A man in East Texas had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.

Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire.

"The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it either.

OH Deer... Again

The idiots of Solon, Ohio are at it again. Once again protesting the culling of deer in their community.

There is no question that there is an overpopulation of deer in Ohio. For most of the state, hunting is illegal. Communities like Solon, keep issuing building permits and destroying the natural habitat of the deer. The animals have no where to go, so they end up splattered over a fine GM, Ford, or Chrysler product. They eat thousands of dollars worth of plants, shrubbery, and gardens. The same people that are protesting the culling of the herd, also complain that they must cope with the damage.

Personally, I don't want to shoot animals either. But I understand the need to thin the herd.... Come to think of it... that is exactly what we need to do.. IN SOLON!

Is it too late to say Happy New Year???

OK... so I'm a few days late...I've been busy...

Cleveland has a new Mayor.. will it make any difference? Probably not. He has already begun his term by falling into the same old political patterns... first item on the agenda...revamp the police department. Can't anyone be creative?

Then there is the school board. The media reports that Barbara Byrd-Bennett gave her official resignation yesterday. They reported that this occurred amidst tears. Yeah... tears of joy... She was the highest paid CEO the Cleveland Schools ever had. This wouldn't have been a problem if the schools weren't in the worst shape they have ever been in...Oh well...

You would actually think I cared about this stuff...

Reality? NOT

We just had a great time in Valley Forge, PA. Except for the fact that the American Spaniel Association was having a gathering in our hotel, we had a great time. Rent the movie "Best In Show" and you will have experienced our weekend ( without the smell). Dog show people are really weird.

Anyhow... I am ready for 2006 to be an "extreme" year. It is up to me to make it that way...