Wednesday, September 20, 2006

18 Safety Tips About Serial Killers

As a public service I present the following:

I thought it might be helpful to provide some tips for protecting yourself from serial killers. Further, since most serial killer victims are woman, I am directing this advice to woman.

I suggest that this list be memorized, and the procedures practiced regularly so that these tips might be drawn upon at anytime without hesitation.

(You may also print these warnings and pass them out to friends. )

1. Always be on the lookout for serial killers

2. Serial killers like to hang out in parking lots at K-Mart & WalMart sitting in their cars all day.

3. Don't be friends with any serial killers.

4. Never invite a serial killer over to watch Desperate Housewives or Ellen.

5. It is important for women to avoid serial killers who have killed more than 6 people because being victim number 7 is unlucky.

6. If you are walking to your car and you see a male in the car next to yours, assume that he is a serial killer. Shoot him and then run. This is legal in most states.

7. All men are serial killers. You cannot be too paranoid.

8. Be afraid of anyone who looks at you any time in any place.

9. There is no such thing as having too many weapons in your purse or briefcase.

10. Even if you accidently kill innocent people who are not serial killers, that's OK. The police will understand and won't arrest you.

11. Sometimes friends and family turn out to be serial killers. Never trust them.

12. Your spouse is probably a serial killer and you don't know it.

13. Even though you've tried hard to raise your sons right they are probably going to be serial killers anyway. It's not your fault. Never trust them.

14. Some women have been known to kill everyone in their house just to be on the safe side. This may sound extreme, but it works.

15. Some women have been known to go out hunting and killing men. Even though the FBI refers to these women as serial killers, it is far more likely that they were just trying to keep themselves safe from serial killers by being proactive.

16. When you shoot a serial killer always remember to empty your gun into him. Use every last bullet before you stop shooting. Also, you may want to shoot anyone else who is around. They are probably accomplices. Don't worry if you have to stop and reload. Just shoot anyone you see until you run out of ammunition. This will help keep you safe.

17. All serial killers are men. Women who kill are just retaliating for years of abuse. You'll understand better what I mean when their stories are told on Lifetime or discussed on The View.

18. Never wear wool socks on a Thursday. This is a sign to rapists and serial killers that you are a willing victim.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Katrina Relief Eplogue

Arriving in Pascagoula, Mississippi the devastation that still exists one year after Katrina was overwhelming. My first thought was; “Can we really make a difference?”

On Monday morning we met Ann; the homeowner who we were sent to assist. Looking at her home and hearing her story I remembered the story of the young man on the shore and the thousands of starfish washed up and left behind from the low tide.

Thousands of starfish were dieing while the young man furiously worked to throw them back. An older man came by and saw the young man struggling to save the starfish. He said to the boy; “Can’t you see how futile this is? You will never be able to save enough to make a difference.” The boy thought for a moment then picked up a single starfish, threw it into the ocean and said; “ I just made a difference for that one.”

We made a difference.

Day 5 Katrina Relief

Our final day in Mississippi. Everyone had a good night sleep so we were up a little earlier today. Consequently we got off to an early start. We arrived at Ann’s to find that no one had come in and finished our job!

It still looked like we had a mountain to move in order to finish, but we were diligent…

Mike and Dave finished sawing up the bathtub and got it out of the house. Homer went to work hanging dry wall in the master bedroom, while Jan & Jim began hanging dry wall in the back bedroom. Robin and Dee began cleaning up until we got some board hung, then they began mudding and taping the new drywall.

A few challenges popped up with the depth of the pre-installed electrical outlets and the varying thickness of the previously installed dry wall. But we were ingenious and undaunted in our tasks.

By 12:30 we realized that were further ahead than we expected.

We took our lunch break at a place called; “Bozo’s”. It was shrimp & oyster Po-Boys all around. “Bozo’s” is just a hole in the wall kind of place, but the food was incredible. We had a lunch that would have cost at least $15 per person back home, but here two could eat for $14!

Our new friend Jack recommended both Bozo’s and the place we went to last night. Jack is our new hero!

We returned to our task at 1:30 and before we knew it, our time with Ann was over. The job was finished, at least to a point where the next team will take over.

We had a tearful “goodbye” with Ann. She took pictures of all of us, and we took pictures with her. She gave each of us handwritten card of thanks, then with many hugs we loaded into the van, and with Ann “waving us on” we headed back to our “residence”.

No injuries to report today. We are thankful for a safe week.

A new team arrived this evening. We were able to have dinner with them and share our stories with them.

It is going on 10pm, the van is loaded, the GPS is set for home. After devotions and our evening meeting with Jan, we will go to bed early as we will be leaving for home at 6am. Our stay is ending much sooner than any of us prefer or are ready for.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Day 4 Katrina Trip Injury Report

Robin's foot is a little sore, but healing well. No new injuries today.
Dee Dee's cuts are healing. No new injuries today.
Mike: 0
Dave: Minor cut on knee from kneeling on a prybar. DOH!
Jim: 0
Jan: No injuries, but suffering from a migraine.
Homer: 0

Our guitar playin friend.

The marker in the ground at the base of the monument.

This is the placque on the monument in the park where we eat lunch. We feel so blessed to be a part of the relief effort.

Monument to mark Katrina's arrival

Day 4 - Katrina Relief

The team was tired today. Nobody is sleeping very well. We're just too motivated to work!

We got up on time, but got a slow start to the day because we had to make a trip to Lowe’s for some materials and tools.

The temperature was a little cooler today and the humidity was down a bit. So working was warm but bearable. There was no breeze however, so our lunchtime break at the beach was pretty warm.

We had a lot to do today; install new insulation, begin replacing drywall, remove a bathroom vanity and sink, commode, and bathtub. So we broke up into teams; Robin and I installed insulation, Dee Dee and Jan were our drywall measurer/cutters, Mike and Homer continued destruction by removing yet more drywall in the bathroom, and Dave bounced from room to room trying to keep us from destroying Ann’s house any further!

We didn’t get up as much drywall as I had hoped for. In fact, because I accidentally dry-walled over an electrical outlet I had to take that sheet down. In the process I realized that the outlets need to be remounted…a task we haven’t figured out how we will do yet.

In the midst of things, Ann ( the owner ) asked if we could remove her bathtub as she would like to order a new one. Dave ended up having to use the “saws all” to cut it up because it is too large to fit through the framed-in doors. Needless to say, this is not a fiberglass tub. It is cast iron…(Yes, we could use some high speed carbon blades)

By the way, the way I discovered the outlet that was covered over, was when I attempted to run a drywall screw into it! Luckily, I missed the actual outlet and was hitting the space between the outlet and utility box. Otherwise, Jan would be conducting a memorial service tonight.

As we sat in the park on our lunch break a man with a guitar came over and asked if he could sing for us. He writes gospel lyrics and sets them to contemporary tunes. Then, a friend of his was casting a 14-foot net into the ocean to catch mullet. So we wandered down to the shore to watch. (Fascinating characters here in Mississippi) Anyhow, watching this guy fish made us all hungry for seafood, so this evening we are off on a seafood dining adventure.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Day 3 - Katrina Trip Injury Report

Dee Dee: 1 cut finger, 1 cut on right Knee
Robin: nail through boot into right foot
Jim: 0
Mike: 0
Dave: 0
Homer: 0
Jan: 0

Day 3 - Katrina Relief Trip

We arrived at our assigned job site at 8am today. We met Ann; a 77 year old widow who lives about 6 blocks from the beach.

Ann’s insurance company told her that she didn’t live in a flood zone. Consequently she was ineligible for flood insurance.

Her home sits on a foundation about 18 inches high. Yet, the floodwaters reached the two-foot mark inside, where it sat for 3 days.

Our mission is to remove the water damaged drywall throughout the house from the floor to two feet up. Additionally, we are removing damaged flooring and sub-flooring.

We were successful today in removing the drywall and insulation and sub-floor from three rooms. Tonight, the exposed walls will be treated with an anti-fungal spray. Tomorrow we will begin hanging new drywall.

We hope to refinish a bathroom while we are here as well.

We took a break for lunch today and went down to a park by the beach. As we arrived, people were driving past and asking if we were volunteers. When we replied that we were, they thanked us. Passing cars waved their gratitude. I think that we realized at that moment just how important our mission was.

We met a man whose wife went into the hospital just before the storm. The storm prevented him from seeing her before she died. He left the area and just returned three weeks ago.

After lunch we drove through several neighborhoods and viewed the awesome devastation. What were beautiful homes have been reduced to rubble. In many cases there is nothing left but a driveway and a foundation, or a mailbox on an empty lot.

Many of the lots are now up for sale. Evidence that people have either gone broke, or don�t want to chance another �Katrina�.

At the end of our work today, a young boy walking past stopped to talk to us. We asked what it was like to be living in this place at this time. His response was;
�We were doing ok. Then Katrina came, and BAM, we are poor.�

Monday, September 11, 2006

The Great Mississippi Adventure

According to mapquest it is a 15 hour journey from Cleveland, Ohio to Biloxi, Mississippi.

Mapquest is wrong!

We are on Day 2 of a mission trip to Mississippi to do some Katrina Relief. Day 1 was a day of travel. It took us from 1pm Cleveland time to 8am ( next day ) to get here. Of course the van we are travelling in kept stalling out which didn't help. But we had a good trip that was relatively uneventful and arrived in time to eat breakfast and then get to work. So, at this point in time, we have been awake for about 32 hours. We are doing amazingly well. I guess there is energy derived from doing something for someone else.

We are staying in a temporary housing unit that was constructed for people coming here to work. I was pleasantly surprised to find a wireless internet connection. We will try to update on a daily basis.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Faster Than A Speeding Rebate Check

Several weeks ago, my cell phone decided it had made enough calls and was no longer interested in functioning. So, I wandered into the local Radio Shack and picked up a new Samsung A900 to be used on the Sprint system.

I was told that I qualified for a $100 rebate through Sprint as long as I extended my service agreement. Seemed like a good plan. So after I programmed my new phone I sorted through the rebate instructions and mailed them in.

Four weeks later, I received a notice from Sprint stating that since I had NOT extended my contract they would not honor the $100 rebate. I promptly did nothing then forgot about the whole thing.

This morning I received an email from Sprint telling me that my rebate was in the final stages of processing and that I would be receiving my rebate in four weeks.

My question is this…in this day of high technology, how is it that it takes a “hi-tech” company like Sprint over 8 weeks to process a rebate check? I’ve seen houses built faster than that.

While I’m on this “hi tech” tirade…Why can’t another “hi-tech” company; DELL accept on-line account payments?

These things keep me up at night.