Friday, December 31, 2004

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

What can we do?

The images coming from Asia are horrific... The mounting body count is incomprehensible... I want to write something significant if for no other reason than to express my grief. To provide some rationale explanation... There are no words. There is only a scientific explanation... Only ponderings...

What can I do? Pray for the victims. Pray for the survivors. Pray for the relief workers.

How odd that this disaster would occur during a season when our culture is caught up in commercialism, gift giving, buying, excessive consumption of food, drink, etc.

What can we do? Pray for the victims. Pray for the survivors. Pray for the relief workers.

The poorest of us, are wealthy by the standards of most of the world. Let's sacrifice our Starbucks fix for a month...

Here are links to two organizations that are exceptionally effective with relief efforts.

https://secure.umcom.org/giving/default.asp?causeID=9522

http://www.kintera.org/site/pp.asp?c=fvKVLbMVIwG&b=277370&lid=tsunami_donate&lpos=main1btn

Monday, December 27, 2004

One hot night..

Three years ago on this date we had a chimney fire at our home. It was really quite benign. The neighbors came over pounding on our door and screaming that the house was on fire. It wasn’t. It was just a normal night by the fireplace for us. But since the neighbors were hysterical we thought we should join in the fun and evacuate the house. The fire department arrived quickly but by the time they got here, the fire had died down, and whatever might have been burning in the chimney had been consumed. Everybody realized that it was a minor chimney fire that had already dissipated, but the FD had to do their job and inspect our roof and attic. One of the firemen crawled up into our attic to inspect the chimney from above the ceiling… He missed a rafter.

We still have a hole in the ceiling of our garage. I really should fix it someday. But it makes a great conversation piece.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Perspective

It’s been really snowy and cold for the last several days. The news is full of stories of people who were stranded through the holidays, or had to turn around and cancel their holiday travel plans. People are cursing the weather, the airlines, the road cleaning crews, etc., etc.

Our family was affected by the weather too. We were also affected by my wife’s work schedule, which was ultimately affected by my change of jobs two years ago. It’s funny how everything is interconnected.

Normally, we celebrate Christmas on Christmas Day like everyone else. But because of Robin’s schedule, we celebrated on Christmas Eve day, which left Christmas Day feeling pretty much like any other Saturday. The exception of course was that the rest of the world was celebrating Christmas on Christmas Day. So, that meant our children made plans to spend time with their significant others’ families. Knowing this was going to be the case, I planned on sleeping in, cleaning the house, and settling down with a new book until dinner time when all would return home.

The weather was bitter cold and two days of snowfall combined with freezing rain left my daughters’ new pick-up truck frozen solid in the driveway. She had planned to be at her boyfriends’ home for breakfast by 9am. So we got up early to dig out and thaw out the truck. The truck and the weather did not cooperate. It was well below zero and the truck was not thawing.

Sensing that she was beginning to fret over being late for breakfast, I suggested that Stefanie could take my car and we would move the truck into the garage.

It was Christmas morning. The house was quiet. I thought about how unfortunate we were to have our traditions changed by something as trivial as my wife’s work schedule. I was irritated and frustrated at the circumstances that created this situation. I was about to throw one hell of a pity party.Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by a ringing cell phone. It was Stefanie…” I’m OK, the car is OK, but I slid, and it’s in a ditch.” After determining that she was in fact OK, I put on my coat and boots and jumped into the still frozen truck and headed for the scene of the accident. “Merry Christmas.”

There were car parts scattered down the road for about 50 feet. My car was well off the road and real stuck. Stefanie was standing beside it in tears. I evaluated the situation; the car was damaged, but drive-able once it would be removed from the ditch. More importantly aside from her emotional state, Stef was fine. I looked at the marks in the road, and the path the car had taken. I saw the road sign, the mailbox, and the utility pole she could have hit. I thought about the oncoming traffic she could have collided with. I thought about the fact that if she had been in her truck, it would have turned over. I thought about what a lousy Christmas it could have been. Then I thanked the newborn Christ child for Stefanie.

Life boils down to perspective.

Footnote: Today, over 12,000 people perished in Asia as the result of a 9.0 earthquake. What misfortunes did we contend with?

Saturday, December 25, 2004

In the midst of contemporary celebration...let's not forget..

God was really out to prove something this time.

He wasn’t merely parting seas, flooding the earth, sending plagues… this time he pulled out all the stops; a virgin birth, a birth in a barn, kings traveling from far away places, special stars in the sky… It would be years before Hollywood could even come close.

And what was to come after? Now that was the showstopper. Take a young rising star, put him to a shameful death. Then raise him from the dead a few days later. All for what?

For the salvation of all.

Merry Christmas.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

The Circle

My uncle Paul was a war hero. He was never recognized in that fashion by the world, but I know he was a war hero. He was a part of the greatest generation. He helped save the world during WWII. He was a fun loving man, a devoted father, brother, husband, son, uncle and friend to many. He died too young, probably from injuries and illnesses he received during the war.

He was Santa Claus when I was a child. I didn’t know it then, but when I became a teen-ager I found out that he was Santa Claus. The last time he was Santa, I was ten years old. I remember that Christmas, specifically because that was the year my parents gave me a slot-car set. I don’t know why he stopped playing Santa. I know he didn’t always feel very well. Perhaps he merely wanted to pass the torch. My memories are becoming too foggy about these things.

What got me thinking about this, is that when my son was 10, I gave him a slot-car set for Christmas. That year, my Aunt-Ann asked me to play Santa at our family’s traditional Christmas Eve celebration at her house. I have been Santa for 10 years now.

Once again, on Christmas Eve around 10pm, my cousin Laura will herd all the kids to the basement family room of Aunt-Ann’s home. Her brother and her husband will escort me to the second floor bedroom and help me change into my Santa suit. When I am ready and all the kids are out of the living room, I will go downstairs and out to the porch where I will wait until the kids are escorted back up to the living room.

It amazes me that the kids never question why they are being moved from floor to floor. But it is Christmas, and they are anxious to please, so they go. When they are all seated in the living room, someone will suggest singing a Christmas Carol. As this happens, I stand on the porch and listen through the walls. Sometimes I peek through the window to watch my family. When I do, I see generations of love. I see tradition. When I get the signal from my cousin, I knock on the door and yell; “HO, HO, HO”. Then I make my grand entrance.

All the kids even the older ones sit on Santa’s lap and receive a small gift. Some of the adults sit on Santa’s lap. I am continually astounded by the fact that the kids can’t figure out who Santa is. Even my own children didn’t know until they were told. Maybe they choose not to know.

My Mom always sits on Santa’s lap. He wishes her a happy birthday (She was born at 5pm on Christmas Day). She doesn’t see it, but Santa’s eyes are wet.

When all of “the kids” have visited Santa we all sing another Christmas Carol then Santa exits through the front door wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.

And that is it. My favorite and the fastest 30 minutes of the year. Before I leave the porch, I look back through the window in the door…Though I hope I can play Santa for many more years, I know I will ultimately give it up to the next generation. I also know that whoever becomes Santa, will look back through the window and see the same things that I see; parents,brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins, children, grandparents, and a war hero.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

15 minutes of fame...

I heard a Christmas song on the radio yesterday being performed by Bruce Springsteen. It triggered a memory I have of appearing on stage with him several years ago. Are you surprised to know that I was on stage with “The Boss”?

He was doing one of his big stadium shows at the old Cleveland Stadium. I was the local manager for the Ticketron office in Ohio, and was backstage at the producers request doing counterfeit ticket control. Just before it was time for the concert to begin, I wandered out on the stage to see how the “house” looked. As I walked out on stage, the crowd seeing someone coming out on stage started cheering. I thought; “You idiots, do I look like Bruce Springsteen?” Well, I didn’t, but the guy behind me… with the guitar and the sweatband? He looked exactly like Springsteen. I turned around to see "The Boss" entering the stage. I quickly headed for stage left. As we passed each other on the stage he looked bewildered and said, “Who are you? I replied, “ You don’t know?”. I left the stage, he started the show.

He got paid a lot more for that appearance than I did.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

And now, the news...


Yesterday's sudden and ample snowfall has brought out the worst in many of the city's residents.
Posted by Hello

Sunday, December 12, 2004

The sky is falling...

Well, winter has arrived. Along with it have come the doom & gloom, alarmist TV weather forecasts. Come on guys, it’s snow, not nuclear fallout.
Just remember, as you watch this stuff… it’s not about truth, it’s about ratings.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Limited Vocabulary

I don't think I even heard the word until I was in the 7th grade. We hear it today in the movies, read it in books, see it scrawled on walls, hear it in music, hear it in the hallways of schools, factories, board rooms, offices...everywhere!

The "F" word is being used like a grammatical requirement. I just don't get it. Are we so under-educated, so "vocabularily challenged", that we can't come up with a better way of expressing ourselves?

I've met some people that without this "word", they couldn't speak. For the rest of society, that would be a blessing.

I challenge everyone reading this, to eliminate the word from their vocabulary. If you can do it for 30 days, it will be gone.

In all fairness, there haas been a few times in history where it was appropriate. Here is the complete list:

"What the @#$% was that?" -Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

"Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" -Custer, 1877

"Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." -Einstein, 1938

"It does so @#$%ing look like her!" -Picasso, 1926

"How the @#$% did you work that out?" -Pythagoras, 126 BC

"You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?" -Michelangelo, 1566

"Where the @#$% are we?" -Amelia Earhart, 1937

"Scattered @#$%ing showers.... my ass!" -Noah, 4314 BC

"Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?" -Bill Clinton, 1999

"Geez, I didn't think they'd get this @%#*^ing mad." -Osama bin Laden,
November, 2001

and most recently...

"@#$%-ing Ohio" - John Kerry, 2004

Now, just "f-ing" stop it.



Thursday, December 09, 2004

Walter, the permanent house guest

I realized that my posts have been a little melancholy lately, so I thought it was time to lighten things up.

This is the story of Walter. Walter resides in my home office...

We were on a family trip to West Palm. I thought it would be fun to take my son on a deep-sea fishing charter. My wife decided the whole family should go. So, I rented a boat and a captain for a 7am to Noon adventure. We boarded the boat, bought the bait, and by 7:10am we were on our way down the channel. Our oldest, Melissa was sitting on the bow of the boat singing Broadway show tunes. Our youngest daughter; Stefanie was sitting starboard side, smiling from ear to ear. Our son Tim, was next to me, and my wife (Robin) was leaning over the edge of the boat watching the waves go past.

As we left the channel, the water got a little choppier, Melissa was still singing show tunes, Stef had stopped smiling, Tim was staring straight ahead, and Robin was puking over the edge. The Captain stopped the boat, and baited our hooks and within 5 minutes, I had hooked a 35” barracuda. A few minutes later, we hooked a 40” barracuda. Melissa brought that one in (she named it Walter ) then went back to singing. Stefanie was throwing up all over the deck and Robin was still “feeding” the rest of the ocean, when Tim brought in a 39 incher. The captain was busy washing the deck down with chlorine bleach. It was now 7:45am.

A few minutes later, the captain told me he had been informed by radio that the sailfish were hitting about 1 mile away. He asked if I wanted to take a shot at them. I looked at my wife who was now as green as an artichoke. I looked at Stefanie who was “on empty” but still heaving. I looked at Tim, who was working hard not to be sick any more. The Captain looked at Melissa and asked; “Is she going to sing like that all day?” I said, let’s head back to the marina.

We arrived at the marina at 8:15am. Stefanie fell to the ground and kissed the boardwalk. Tim, wobbled off to a park bench, Robin layed down on the ground. Melissa was still singing the opening number from “Annie”.

I tipped the captain $100. Paid $600 to have Melissa’s catch mounted (it was the biggest), paid the balance of the charter; (another $600), and we all went back to our beachfront condo and slept for the next 8 hours.
“Walter” resides on the wall in my office.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Happy Birthday Melissa...love, Dad

We arrived home around midnight and after a quick snack, went to bed.

Around 3am Robin woke me up and said we needed to get to the hospital. We threw her pre-packed suitcase into the car and drove quickly to Southwest Hospital. After a very short wait, she was taken to surgery. I sat in the waiting room. There was a movie on the TV. It was in black and white. All I remember of it was that there was a police car driving endlessly on a mountain road with its single light flashing and its siren wailing. It seemed like that was the entire movie. I still don’t know what movie it was.

I should have been nervous but I don’t think I was. I should have been more concerned about the future, but I wasn’t.

After what seemed like several hours of watching the police car winding through the mountains, a nurse appeared in the doorway. She was pushing a small glass crib. She said; “Would you like to meet your daughter?” I knelt beside the crib and looked into the wide eyes of a newborn. The nurse told me to talk to her, “she knows who you are”. I stood up to see her through the open top of the crib rather than through the glass sides. Her big blue eyes followed me… In that instant, my life was changed forever.

All that happened yesterday; December 6, 1980.

In Memory


The first time I met Kim was in 1989 at a rehearsal for an opera production in Cleveland. We shared the same brand of humor, so we hit it off immediately. We would stand backstage and fire off jokes about everything happening around us. She had a magnificent soprano voice and was obviously musically educated but more importantly extremely gifted. Over the next few years we performed together five or six times.

She was a local teacher instructing voice and choir. By a twist of fate, she had all three of my children in her classes and choirs. She was dedicated beyond expectation, giving up personal time to accompany her students to state competition and helping them prepare for those competitions. She encouraged her kids to do more than they thought they could. She also expected perfection. Sometimes the kids didn’t appreciate that expectation, but they grew because of it.

I saw her for the last time in June of 2004 when she sang at “Walk For Life”. She was determined. She was hopelessly in love with her husband Rick, and she was a dedicated and loving mother to her two children. We reminisced for a few minutes and we talked about the future. She asked about each of my three kids and told me what she loved about each of them. She asked me to pass along her well wishes to each of them. She asked about my wife and asked me to pass along her greetings to her as well.

As we both had other places to be, we too soon parted company. As we said goodbye, we hugged. It was a long hug. One where you knew that when you let go there would never be another…

Kim lost her battle with breast cancer in late October of 2004. She fought the disease valiantly. She fought it with the same dedication and intensity that she instilled in her students to be the best that they could be. She fought it with every intent to win. Ultimately however, the disease took her from her world. She left behind her husband, two children, brothers, parents, friends, and hundreds of kids whose lives were forever changed because she cared for them.

I sat in the church wondering why someone with so much to share was taken so young. There was no answer...The choir made up of her former and current students began to sing. She lived on in each of them, and she will forever.

http://www.thebreastcancersite.com

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Life in a bubble is not living

There are communities that require kids riding bikes to wear helmets. I guess it is a good idea, but on the other hand, I think we are protecting and litigating ourselves into a boring, sterile, out of shape, no imagination existence. Kids need to get hurt doing something fun and adventurous. Likewise so do adults. We were not put on this planet to be protected. We are here to live, experience, thrive, have fun, and sometimes get hurt.

Spam?

Ok, I am looking for help on this one.

How did unwanted email become known as SPAM? I have never received any of the canned meat without paying for it. What is the connection?

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

What happened to Joey?

The overhead lights were reflecting off of the wet pavement and the leafless trees as we sped down the quiet country road. I thought about the last time I had been to this home. Unlike the other officers on their way, I hadn’t been there for any previous calls. In fact, I hadn’t been there since I was about 15 years old. I was there to hang out with friends. They were there to deal with a mess. Now it was my turn. I had known Joey since kindergarten. His mom was my Sunday school teacher at about that same age.

When we first heard the radio call, I thought I recognized the address. When the dispatcher gave a description of the suspect, I put two and two together, and knew immediately we were going to Joey’s house. I remembered his mom and dad. His dad; who passed away years ago, had been a laborer at the auto plant. He worked hard to provide a home for his wife and child. He was a quiet man who worked hard and occasionally came to church with his wife and son. Joey’s mom always appeared slightly older than her age, however she was an elegant and soft-spoken woman. They were "good" people. A typical suburban family.I always thought Joey was somewhat spoiled. I guess he suffered from “only child” syndrome. He had potential though, just like the rest of us. I totally lost track of him and had not seen or heard of him in years. I knew he still lived in the area, and heard rumors that he had some alcohol problems. I never expected he was a bad off as he is.

We rolled into the drive behind another zone car that had arrived in time to already have Joey in custody. His mom sat on the couch with tears in her eyes, bleeding from both arms, but sitting up straight and elegantly. She paid close attention to the activities surrounding the arrest of her son. She said nothing, but nodded yes, when asked if she would press charges.

Joey; dressed in ripped jeans and a dirty work shirt appeared to be about 25 years older than he is. His eyes were cloudy and his mind was definitely saturated with years of alcohol abuse. He looked at me, and gave no indication of recognition.

We escorted Joey to the zone car, gave him the usual “watch your head” admonition as we placed him in the back seat. As we left the driveway, he muttered; “Thanks a lot Mom.”

When we arrived at the jail I took him out of the zone car. This time he appeared to have some sense of recognition as he looked at me, but his confused mind soon gave up, and he said nothing.

My partner and I returned to the house to photograph Joey’s mom and her injuries. It took her a long time to come to the door.

Despite her frailty, at 82 years old, she still had a look of elegance. Her eyes were still moist with tears as we photographed her. She said, she hoped that maybe Joey had finally “bottomed out” and would seek the help he needed. I said nothing except for a silent prayer for her and Joey. We gave her some domestic violence literature to read. She thanked us, and said; “ I won’t be reading these. I’m blind”. We helped her retrieve her walker and return to a chair in the living room. We locked her front door as we left the house.

We moved the zone car back into the street. I thought, “isn’t it odd, that a blind, 82 year-old woman, requiring a walker, is safer in her house alone, than with her adult son”? I thought about the tag on a beer commercial; “Drink responsibly”.

What happened to Joey?





Monday, November 29, 2004

Check under the hood?

I remember when gas stations provided service. They pumped your gas, cleaned your windshield and checked your oil. They could do minor and major repairs. They sold tires, windshield washer blades and fluids. You could get your AC re-charged. Now,there are very few if any that do anything except allow you to pump your own gas. They sell beer. Most of them have signs that tell you not to drink and drive.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Worth The Wait

To fully understand todays post, you may want to read the following biblical passages...

Isaiah 2:1-5
Matthew 24:36-44


Prepare ye the way of the Lord… We hear these words a lot throughout the period of Advent. Today is the first Sunday in Advent; the Sunday of Expectation and Hope. And once again we hear the scriptures of expectation and hope; “In the days to come the mountain of the Lord’s house shall be established as the highest of the mountains, and shall be raised above the hills; all the nations shall stream to it. Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore.”

Israel has had a difficult history. Wedged between large empires that were fighting for superiority, there were few times in her 700-year history in which Israel did not live under the threat of war. Not much has changed.
In the time of Isaiah, Judah was a state of Assyria. During Isaiah’s life, the Assyrians would sweep in and totally annihilate the Northern Kingdom of Israel, and threaten to do the same to the Southern Kingdom of Judah. Judah; was ruled by leaders who saw it more politically expedient to appease the Empire than to be faithful to God. There were, however people like Isaiah who could envision a different circumstance. They hoped for a time when Israel would be faithful to God.

Israel was weary of war and threat, weary of the divisions that had torn her country apart after Solomon, weary of the instability of a world in which power and the oppression that it brings were the controlling factors in the world. Some like Isaiah knew that God’s vision of the world was much different. They knew that the God they served was the same God who had heard the cries of oppressed slaves in Egypt, and entered history to relieve their oppression. And they knew that because God was such a God, he would not tolerate oppression in the world forever. So they hoped. They dreamed. They dreamed of a time when God would enter the world and bring an end to war and suffering. They dreamed of a time when he would establish his reign on earth and restore all creation to what he intended it to be. They dreamed of a time when the division that had torn their people apart and divided them into north and south would be healed. They dreamed of a time when Israel would be a whole people under God. They dreamed of a time when “nation would not lift up sword against nation, and learn war no more.”

And here we are today. Some in our midst lived through WWII, The Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Persian Gulf War. We know from our history books about WWI, the War of 1812, The Civil War, the Revolutionary War, the wars between England and Ireland, England and Scotland, and so on, and so on. Today we are all too aware of the war in Iraq, Afghanistan, conflicts in Korea, Somalia, Serbia, etc. We are bombarded by images of car bombings, suicide bombings, etc. We are reminded of man’s inhumanity to man every time we turn on the tv, radio, internet, or pick up a newspaper. And we become desperate like the early Israelites. And we cry to God; ”Come quickly”.

Then along comes Advent…our annual reminder that God answered our calls once with the birth of Jesus. (not an image on a toasted cheese sandwich- see Nov. 19 posting) Our holiday greeting cards are emblazoned with the phrase: “Peace On Earth”. Much like the early Israelites, we dream of a “new Jerusalem”. But like the Israelites we believe that maybe it is a vision for the distant future. Have we worked hard enough to make this vision a reality? Maybe we have depended a little too much on God transforming our swords while we are still swinging them at each other.

Isaiah knew that we would not be able to bring peace. He knew that the world would not yield to our individual efforts. Still he believed that peace would come. He believed in a future that was God’s future, a future in which the world would be restored to God’s intention. And he waited. And likewise,,. We wait.

Peace on Earth came 2000 years ago… It came in the birth of Jesus, and it was worth the wait. It was only a glimpse of what can be however. The fulfillment of the promise has become a new expectation. So today, we dream the same dream of Isaiah, that God will bring wholeness and peace. When? We don’t know. But we hope and wait expectantly. We know that he has come, and we know that he will come again.

When he does, Will we be “eating and drinking, marrying and being given in marriage”, will we be sleeping like the homeowner unaware that the thief has come in the night? Will we be dropping bombs and wielding swords? Or will we be hammering our swords into plowshares, and waiting expectantly for his arrival?

Whenever he comes, we are promised that it will have been worth the wait. “The Lord’s house shall be established as the highest of the mountains, and shall be raised above the hills; all the nations shall stream to it. Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore.”

"Behold the day is coming, The Son of Man is coming at an unexpected hour… Come Lord Jesus, quickly come.







Friday, November 26, 2004

Don't be late for dinner...

My parents live in a wooded area that plays host to about 30 white tail deer. Year after year, we have enjoyed watching them feed on the cracked corn that Dad puts out for them. This year, however, Mom and Dad have stopped feeding the deer.” Why” I asked. Mom explained that the deer come in herds, usually 10 or 12 at a time. They put out the feed. The first herd comes and eats all the corn. Then, the next herd comes and there isn’t any food for them. Consequently, Mom feels bad for them. Rather than disappoint some of them, she has chosen not feed any of them. She went on to explain; “if they would just all come at the same time, I would continue to feed them, but if they aren’t going to come at the same time… forget it. “ My brother and I made sure that we arrived for Thanks Giving dinner at the same time.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Thanks Giving Day, not Turkey Day

Amid football, parades, sales, Santa, and all the other distractions of the day, let’s actually take time to give thanks to God for the blessings of our lives.


Come ye thankful people come, raise the song of harvest home;
all is safely gathered in, ere the winter storms begin.
God our maker doth provide for our wants to be supplied,
come to God’s own temple come, raise the song of harvest home.

All the world is God’s own field, fruit s praise to God we yield;
Wheat and tares together sown are to joy or sorrow grown;
First the blade and then the ear, then the full corn shall appear;
Lord of harvest grant that we wholesome grain and pure may be.

For the Lord our God shall come, and shall take the harvest home;
From the field shall in that day all offenses purge away,
Giving angels charge at last in the fire the tares to cast;
But the fruitful ears to store in the garner ever-more.

Even so, Lord quickly come, bring thy final harvest home;
Gather thou thy people in, free from sorrow, free from sin,
There, forever purified, in they presence to abide;
Come, with all thine angels come, raise the glorious harvest home.
- George J. Elvey 1858

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Like a Virgin


Toasted Cheese Revisited... Looks like Madonna to me.
Posted by Hello

Like A Rock

I refer to mini-vans as “the great emasculator of the American male”. Think about it. Your are cruizin’ around in your Firebird Trans-Am, or your Z-28 Camaro. Then one day, your wife tells you she is pregnant. The next thing you know, you’ve traded in the Camaro on a “Grand Voyager”. Nice vehicle, but it is not a Camaro. Anyhow, you’re driving around in your “Grand Voyager” trying to look cool. It just doesn’t work. But then, somebody needs something moved from point A to point B, so in order to get back any vestige of testosterone; you quickly remove the seats from your mini-van, and volunteer the services of your “truck”. There is only one problem. It ain’t a truck. It’s a mini-van. Give it up man. Someday, the kids will grow up and they might let you borrow their Camaro.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Give till it hurts

I received my “Red Cross Volunteer Blood Donor Card” in the mail.It's really nice. It has the same weight and feel of a credit card. So what am I supposed to do with it? Can I get discounts on blood and plasma? I tried to use it at Bob Evans to pay for breakfast. They wouldn’t accept it.


So, how did they figure out that you could safely remove a pint of blood from a human for donation purposes? Who did they experiment on to determine one pint was safe, whereas two pints, three pints, etc. were too much....“Whoops, I guess that was too much.”

Monday, November 22, 2004

That's Entertainment!

I have a real problem with the Media. Particularly TV.

People watch way too much TV. It has been called “a wasteland”. That is probably too complimentary. People who are too poor to eat properly, can’t pay their bills, have no money to educate their kids, will have a TV in every room and spend every free moment watching it. Wouldn’t their time be better spent, reading, working, exercising, building an income source? I call TV “The great American income reducer”.

TV News is the worst. Manufactured stories abound. For instance...

Have you ever really known anyone who was involved in a fire because they answered their cell phone while fueling their car? Me neither.But TV news reports would have you believe that people are going up in flames on a daily basis. Now we have local news anchors stripping during the news hour.

Do yourself a favor. Mark on your calendar when “sweeps week” is, and make a vow that you won’t believe anything you hear on TV that week.

There is no such thing as TV News. It’s all entertainment.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Sex, Lies, and Video Tape

SEX
When I was 12, I would have paid $20.00 for the Victoria’s Secret catalogs that now arrive free, by mail at our house every other day. God Bless America!

LIES
I ordered a new pair of glasses recently. I specifically chose a store that had signs reading: “Glasses while you wait.” I thought that meant, I could wait for them and take them home that day. What it really means is; they will make them and you will wait. It’s been two weeks, now, so I guess the sign is accurate.

VIDEO TAPE
What happened to my $100 lifelong membership at the video store that I bought in 1981? I haven't received a benefit disclosure in a long time.

Saturday, November 20, 2004


"Respect my authoritay"
Posted by Hello

Boys Pants, half-off

Have you ever seen an old shoe on the side of the road? So what happens, someone is driving along and suddenly just gets irritated with one of their shoes and tosses it out the window? I saw a pair of pants on the side of the road last night. Think about that for a minute.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Toasted Cheese

So another appearance of the Virgin Mary is revealed.

First, God creates the Earth and all that is in/on it in 7 days.

We're told in the Old Testament of a time when God decides it is time to start over. He instructs Noah to build an Ark, and to gather up two of each species. He then causes 40 days of rain until the world is flooded. After 40 days, The water recedes and God makes a covenant with Man, that he will never again destroy the world through flood.

2000 years ago, God is once again "unhappy" with the affairs of man. He decides to do something drastic. He sends his only son into the world to be sacrificed for the sins of the world. Jesus, the Christ is crucified, dies, and is buried. Then miraculously three days later, he rises from the dead justifying the rest of the world through his blood and ressurection.

2004... God places the image of The Virgin Mary on a toasted cheese sandwich grilled in the home of a Hollywood, Florida woman.

I think that God has better things to do than manipulate a piece of melted cheese.

I would also like to know; To the best of my knowlege, there were no cameras available when Mary walked this earth. So how do we know that the image on the cheese sandwich isn't somebody else? or no one? or Maybe... IT'S JUST CHEESE.

Worse yet, some idiot pays a ton of money to own this "miracle". What is wrong with these people?






The eye's have it

I visited the eye doctor the other day. I noticed that all of the storage drawers were labeled. Most of the drawers had optical stuff. One drawer had screwdrivers. I guess sometimes the Doc needs to make adjustments to his equipment, so that made sense. One drawer bothered me. It said; “catheters”. I’ve been to a lot of eye doctors. At what point in an eye exam, is it necessary to insert a catheter?

Eye doctors have some weird equipment. I don’t think any of those machines actually do anything. They’re just something to play with and help the doctor look like he is doing something. Which is better… 1 or 2? 2 or 3? 3 or 4? They all look the same after awhile.

Eye drops are cool. Everyone leaves the eye doctor looking like a heroin addict.

Day One

Here it is. The beginning of a blog. Why? Why not? I have all this stuff that rolls around in my head. Last December, I started writing it down. Some of it is pretty good. Some of it isn't. I have to do something with it, so here goes....