Should oceans break and mountains fall, and clouds go to the ground.
I'd hurry to the little stall, where Christ is sleeping sound.
Should waters rise above the trees, and flying eagles fall.
I'd find some place to lift my eyes, and be in awe.
Should rivers dry and glaciers thaw, and stars come tumbling down.
I'd hurry to the stable straw, see glory all around.
Should my own heart have need of love, when fear is in its place.
I'd seek you Christ, and kneel inside your gentle Christmas grace.
from "Prophets & Angels
An Advent Festival of Lessons and Carols"
Herbert F. Brokering
Aaron David Miller
Augsburg Fortress - Publisher
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
"Billions & Billions"
It's time for some perspective...
A. 1 billion seconds ago it was 1959.
B. 1 billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C. 1 billion hours ago our ancestors were enjoying the Stone Age.
D. 1 billion days ago nobody walked on the earth on two feet.
E. 1 billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.
While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division. Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number, what does it mean?
A. If you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you
would receive $516,528.00
B. If you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home would be eligible for $1,329,787.00 in reconstruction and/or remodeling.
C. If you are a family of four, your family would receive $2,066,012.00Now, we know that even if the $250,000.00 Billion is granted, none of the above scenarios will play out, so where would all that money end up?
While I have you thinking…
Following are some of the reasons you cannot live on what you earn…
Accounts Receivable TaxBuilding Permit TaxCDL License TaxCigarette TaxCorporate Income TaxDog License TaxFederal Income TaxFederal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)Fishing License TaxFood License TaxFuel Perm it TaxGasoline TaxHunting License TaxInheritance TaxInventory TaxIRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),Liquor Tax,Luxury Tax,Marriage License Tax,Medicare Tax,Property Tax,Real Estate Tax,Service charge taxes,Social Security Tax,Road Usage Tax (Truckers),Sales Taxes, Recreational Vehicle Tax,School Tax,State Income Tax,State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),Telephone Federal Excise Tax,Telephone Federal Universal Service Fe e Tax,Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax,Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax,Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax,Telephone State and Local Tax,Telephone Usage Charge Tax,Utility Tax,Vehicle License Registration Tax,Vehicle Sales Tax,Watercraft Registration Tax,Well Permit Tax,Workers Compensation Tax.
I’m sure I’ve missed a few….
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. The U.S. had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and most mom's stayed home to raise the children.
A. 1 billion seconds ago it was 1959.
B. 1 billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C. 1 billion hours ago our ancestors were enjoying the Stone Age.
D. 1 billion days ago nobody walked on the earth on two feet.
E. 1 billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.
While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division. Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number, what does it mean?
A. If you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you
would receive $516,528.00
B. If you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home would be eligible for $1,329,787.00 in reconstruction and/or remodeling.
C. If you are a family of four, your family would receive $2,066,012.00Now, we know that even if the $250,000.00 Billion is granted, none of the above scenarios will play out, so where would all that money end up?
While I have you thinking…
Following are some of the reasons you cannot live on what you earn…
Accounts Receivable TaxBuilding Permit TaxCDL License TaxCigarette TaxCorporate Income TaxDog License TaxFederal Income TaxFederal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)Fishing License TaxFood License TaxFuel Perm it TaxGasoline TaxHunting License TaxInheritance TaxInventory TaxIRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),Liquor Tax,Luxury Tax,Marriage License Tax,Medicare Tax,Property Tax,Real Estate Tax,Service charge taxes,Social Security Tax,Road Usage Tax (Truckers),Sales Taxes, Recreational Vehicle Tax,School Tax,State Income Tax,State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),Telephone Federal Excise Tax,Telephone Federal Universal Service Fe e Tax,Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax,Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax,Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax,Telephone State and Local Tax,Telephone Usage Charge Tax,Utility Tax,Vehicle License Registration Tax,Vehicle Sales Tax,Watercraft Registration Tax,Well Permit Tax,Workers Compensation Tax.
I’m sure I’ve missed a few….
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. The U.S. had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and most mom's stayed home to raise the children.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Viral Email Worth Sending
This came to me today. I don't usually send this stuff out, but I thought this one was really important.....
Dear Stranger;
I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can’t.
She is crying. Don’t cry Mommy.
Mommy is always sad, but she says it’s not my fault. I asked her if it was God’s fault, but she said no and started crying harder, so I don’t ask that anymore.
The reason she is so sad is that I am so sick. I was born without a body.
It doesn’t hurt, except when I to sleep. The doctors gave me an artificial body made of leaves wrapped in burlap. They said it was the best they could do because we didn’t have insurance.
I would like to have a body transplant, but we don’t have any money.
Mommy doesn’t work because employers don’t hire crying people.
I said, “Don’t cry Mommy.” And she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always hugs me even though she is allergic to burlap and it makes it hard for her to breathe.
I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to as many people as you can.
Dr. Johansen said if you forward this email to enough people then Bill Gates will team-up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers and aluminum pull tabs from school children all over the world and take the prayers up into space so that the Angels can hear them better. I don’t know what they will do with the aluminum pull tabs.
Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just have lungs and a heart. The doctors said that every time you forward this email $1.00 will be contributed to a fund in Nicaragua that will be used to fund the creation of a heart and lungs for me.
Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body before I turn 10, because that is about as long as my leaves will last before they rot.
If you don’t forward this email, that’s OK. Mommy says it is because you are a heartless shithead who doesn’t care about poor little boys with only a head. She says that if you don’t stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death so you can burn forever in Hell. What kind of person can’t take 5 minutes out of their day to forward this email to all your friends and make them feel guilty too?
Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it’s hard.
I wish I had a puppy.
I wish I could hold a puppy.
Thank you
Billy “Smiles” Evans,
The boy with just a head
Dear Stranger;
I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can’t.
She is crying. Don’t cry Mommy.
Mommy is always sad, but she says it’s not my fault. I asked her if it was God’s fault, but she said no and started crying harder, so I don’t ask that anymore.
The reason she is so sad is that I am so sick. I was born without a body.
It doesn’t hurt, except when I to sleep. The doctors gave me an artificial body made of leaves wrapped in burlap. They said it was the best they could do because we didn’t have insurance.
I would like to have a body transplant, but we don’t have any money.
Mommy doesn’t work because employers don’t hire crying people.
I said, “Don’t cry Mommy.” And she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always hugs me even though she is allergic to burlap and it makes it hard for her to breathe.
I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to as many people as you can.
Dr. Johansen said if you forward this email to enough people then Bill Gates will team-up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers and aluminum pull tabs from school children all over the world and take the prayers up into space so that the Angels can hear them better. I don’t know what they will do with the aluminum pull tabs.
Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just have lungs and a heart. The doctors said that every time you forward this email $1.00 will be contributed to a fund in Nicaragua that will be used to fund the creation of a heart and lungs for me.
Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body before I turn 10, because that is about as long as my leaves will last before they rot.
If you don’t forward this email, that’s OK. Mommy says it is because you are a heartless shithead who doesn’t care about poor little boys with only a head. She says that if you don’t stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death so you can burn forever in Hell. What kind of person can’t take 5 minutes out of their day to forward this email to all your friends and make them feel guilty too?
Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it’s hard.
I wish I had a puppy.
I wish I could hold a puppy.
Thank you
Billy “Smiles” Evans,
The boy with just a head
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Painting Memories
I spent the morning at my parents home painting the ceiling in their dining room.
It's amazing the flood of memories and emotions that rush on when you are doing such a task in the home you grew up in.
When I was a child, the existing dining room was actually the living room. We added a room to the back of the house after I was married and living elsewhere. That new room became the living room and the old living room became the dining room.
I guess after nearly 30 years of it being the dining room I had pretty much forgotten that it ever was the living room. But that fact is what brought on the memories this morning. For instance, as I was painting the north end of the room, I remembered that there was an electrical outlet right under where I was working. That outlet is usually hidden by the hutch. But when I was a child, that outlet was not quite behind the sofa. As a two year-old, I found it fascinating to lick my finger and stick into that outlet. It's amazing I am here to remember anything!
As I painted the ceiling my Dad supervised the entire time. He is now 81 years old. I thought about a time when he would have been painting the ceiling and I as a child would have been "supervising" or at least getting in his way. That caused me to remember the mural that was on the east wall. I wondered if it was still there under the current wall paper or did we remove it?
As I moved to the south wall, I remembered countless Christmas trees and opening gifts with my big brother. Then I looked out the window to the front yard now populated with evergreen trees at least 70 feet high, and I remembered the day my Dad, my Brother, and I planted them. They actually came in the mail. They were about 6 inches high then. Looking out that window, I saw my Dad as a young man, coming home late from work, in the dark, stuck at the bottom of the long driveway on a snowy night. I thought about the night my Mom overloaded the incinerator ( yes kids, there was a time when suburbanites actually had incinerators to eliminate garbage.) and nearly caught the house on fire. The chimney erupted in flames, our neighbor called the fire department, my Brother carried me out of the house and we watched the firemen, run up our driveway with hoses and axes. The whole thing was over in a matter of minutes but today, I remembered it vividly as if it happened last night.
I thought about my maternal grandmother. She suffered from Alzheimer's for years. She would live with us for one month at a time, on rotation with my Mom's siblings. This went on throughout my high school years. Grandma could be quite a handful, but we were lucky that she was always a gentle, pleasant soul.
I remembered all the times I was ill and Mom let me convalesce on the sofa in the living room. Any other time the sofa was for sitting. " If you want to lay down, go to bed."
In the last few years Mom & Dad have had some serious health issues. Thankfully they have recovered well and are in pretty good health. But still, on days like today when I am doing the work that my Dad truly loved to do around the house, I get a little melancholy and anxious.
So, I put a fresh coat of flat ceiling white latex on the ceiling of the dining room. A room that has housed countless family meals, holiday gatherings, and social meetings. The ceiling really didn't need to be repainted, but Mom really wanted it fresh for the holidays.
It didn't take me long to paint the ceiling today. It's amazing how reliving 52 years makes the time fly. Thanks Mom & Dad, for allowing me the opportunity to visit our past.
Much love to you both.
It's amazing the flood of memories and emotions that rush on when you are doing such a task in the home you grew up in.
When I was a child, the existing dining room was actually the living room. We added a room to the back of the house after I was married and living elsewhere. That new room became the living room and the old living room became the dining room.
I guess after nearly 30 years of it being the dining room I had pretty much forgotten that it ever was the living room. But that fact is what brought on the memories this morning. For instance, as I was painting the north end of the room, I remembered that there was an electrical outlet right under where I was working. That outlet is usually hidden by the hutch. But when I was a child, that outlet was not quite behind the sofa. As a two year-old, I found it fascinating to lick my finger and stick into that outlet. It's amazing I am here to remember anything!
As I painted the ceiling my Dad supervised the entire time. He is now 81 years old. I thought about a time when he would have been painting the ceiling and I as a child would have been "supervising" or at least getting in his way. That caused me to remember the mural that was on the east wall. I wondered if it was still there under the current wall paper or did we remove it?
As I moved to the south wall, I remembered countless Christmas trees and opening gifts with my big brother. Then I looked out the window to the front yard now populated with evergreen trees at least 70 feet high, and I remembered the day my Dad, my Brother, and I planted them. They actually came in the mail. They were about 6 inches high then. Looking out that window, I saw my Dad as a young man, coming home late from work, in the dark, stuck at the bottom of the long driveway on a snowy night. I thought about the night my Mom overloaded the incinerator ( yes kids, there was a time when suburbanites actually had incinerators to eliminate garbage.) and nearly caught the house on fire. The chimney erupted in flames, our neighbor called the fire department, my Brother carried me out of the house and we watched the firemen, run up our driveway with hoses and axes. The whole thing was over in a matter of minutes but today, I remembered it vividly as if it happened last night.
I thought about my maternal grandmother. She suffered from Alzheimer's for years. She would live with us for one month at a time, on rotation with my Mom's siblings. This went on throughout my high school years. Grandma could be quite a handful, but we were lucky that she was always a gentle, pleasant soul.
I remembered all the times I was ill and Mom let me convalesce on the sofa in the living room. Any other time the sofa was for sitting. " If you want to lay down, go to bed."
In the last few years Mom & Dad have had some serious health issues. Thankfully they have recovered well and are in pretty good health. But still, on days like today when I am doing the work that my Dad truly loved to do around the house, I get a little melancholy and anxious.
So, I put a fresh coat of flat ceiling white latex on the ceiling of the dining room. A room that has housed countless family meals, holiday gatherings, and social meetings. The ceiling really didn't need to be repainted, but Mom really wanted it fresh for the holidays.
It didn't take me long to paint the ceiling today. It's amazing how reliving 52 years makes the time fly. Thanks Mom & Dad, for allowing me the opportunity to visit our past.
Much love to you both.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Time for a new sport
We had a sports filled Sunday as we watched the Cleveland Indians win over Oakland, then watched the Cleveland Browns lose to Oakland ( the stunt Oakland pulled during the final play of the game is the topic of another rant yet to come).
The Browns and The Raiders were playing in Oakland where the stadium is used for both baseball and football. It makes for a strange looking gridiron.
In any case, the combination of a football field and baseball diamond in one facility got me thinking that it is time to start a new sport in the U.S. combining football and baseball. My daughter Stefanie suggested that if we could somehow pull a marching band into the scene it would really round out the new game.
So here it is. The name is still in development and I am open to suggestions for same, as well as suggestions for additional rules of play. In the meanwhile, the game basically looks like this...
There are two teams ( of course ). The game is played on a conventional baseball diamond shape, but the field is all grass. A team is up to bat. Upon hitting the baseball the batter attempts to run to first base. The opposing team however is permitted to tackle the runner. If the runner actually makes it to first base, then he/she must reach into a large box located near the plate and withdraw at random a brass instrument. ( trumpet, trombone, sousaphone, etc). Whatever they withdraw, they must be able to play. The opposing team chooses the musical selection that they must play. After their performance, the crowd rates the performance. If they score a 5 or less ( on a scale of 1-10 ) they are OUT. If they rate a 6-8 they may advance to second base. If they rate a 9 they advance to third. If they rate a 10 they get to go home and score. 6 points.
Since it is a somewhat violent and difficult task to get to first base, instead of 3 outs, each team gets 4 outs and only 4 innings are played.
So there it is... your comments and suggestions are requested.
The Browns and The Raiders were playing in Oakland where the stadium is used for both baseball and football. It makes for a strange looking gridiron.
In any case, the combination of a football field and baseball diamond in one facility got me thinking that it is time to start a new sport in the U.S. combining football and baseball. My daughter Stefanie suggested that if we could somehow pull a marching band into the scene it would really round out the new game.
So here it is. The name is still in development and I am open to suggestions for same, as well as suggestions for additional rules of play. In the meanwhile, the game basically looks like this...
There are two teams ( of course ). The game is played on a conventional baseball diamond shape, but the field is all grass. A team is up to bat. Upon hitting the baseball the batter attempts to run to first base. The opposing team however is permitted to tackle the runner. If the runner actually makes it to first base, then he/she must reach into a large box located near the plate and withdraw at random a brass instrument. ( trumpet, trombone, sousaphone, etc). Whatever they withdraw, they must be able to play. The opposing team chooses the musical selection that they must play. After their performance, the crowd rates the performance. If they score a 5 or less ( on a scale of 1-10 ) they are OUT. If they rate a 6-8 they may advance to second base. If they rate a 9 they advance to third. If they rate a 10 they get to go home and score. 6 points.
Since it is a somewhat violent and difficult task to get to first base, instead of 3 outs, each team gets 4 outs and only 4 innings are played.
So there it is... your comments and suggestions are requested.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Economic Indicators Part II
Evidently, things are looking up. Interest rates on adjustable rate mortgages are starting to stabilize and even run down a little. The job market seems to be improving although slightly.
The key economic indicator however is what I call the loose change factor.
A few posts back I discussed "lost change" and shared my wisdom regarding the fortune in lost change available for the taking. In recent months however the available change seemed to have dried up.
But lo and behold, only a few days after that post... what do my wandering eyes see but 6 cents laying next to my car at the Giant Eagle parking lot. Another 2 cents today at the Home Depot.
My son reports that he found 3 dollar bills yesterday. The recession is definitely coming to an end!
The key economic indicator however is what I call the loose change factor.
A few posts back I discussed "lost change" and shared my wisdom regarding the fortune in lost change available for the taking. In recent months however the available change seemed to have dried up.
But lo and behold, only a few days after that post... what do my wandering eyes see but 6 cents laying next to my car at the Giant Eagle parking lot. Another 2 cents today at the Home Depot.
My son reports that he found 3 dollar bills yesterday. The recession is definitely coming to an end!
Monday, September 10, 2007
I got your anniversary right here Binny
So Bin Laden is issueing another video tape... what does he think he is BMG Music? Every video has to come out with advance hype that another Bin Laden video is about to be released. Why doesn't he just make them available for 19.99 on late night TV..."Call now, and get all the "fundamentalist Islamic terrorist hits".
Listen up "Binny" you probably haven't noticed but REAL world leaders do live press conferences. They don't issue videos from the comfort of their cave.
If you have any real guts, come out of hiding. If your goal is to be martyred we can make that happen.
Listen up "Binny" you probably haven't noticed but REAL world leaders do live press conferences. They don't issue videos from the comfort of their cave.
If you have any real guts, come out of hiding. If your goal is to be martyred we can make that happen.
Friday, September 07, 2007
Monday, September 03, 2007
Economic Indicators
A few years ago, I read a study conducted at the Mall of America in Minneapolis. The study had to do with the "value of money".
The research went something like this; researchers dropped pennies throughout the mall and then observed as teenagers came in and out of the mall. The idea was to gage how many people would bend over to pick up the pennies. After several hours, virtually no one expended the energy to pick up the pennies. Next they tried nickels. They found that a relatively low number of people would stop and pick up the nickels. When they went to dimes the number fell below that of the nickels. ( They theorized that it had to do with the size of the coin versus the value. ) Next they started dropping quarters and the number of people bending over to pick up the quarters increased to about 1 in 10. It wasn't until they started dropping dollar bills that they were able to get more than 90%. Even with the paper money, people seemed to be more concerned with "their image" than with the value of money. This led the researchers to theorize that there was little understanding of the true value of money, at least within the teen age demographic.
I shared this story with my son who was about to go off to college. I suggested to him that even a found penny had huge value as it was tax free, investment free, virtually labor free money. In other words; Pure Profit.
I further challenged Tim to keep his eyes peeled as he traversed the campus and pick up any loose change he spotted. I suggested that there was a virtual fortune in lost coin just laying around on the ground, and that based on the Mall of America study, the college campus would be an ideal hunting ground.
I don't remember the exact amount but after his first year of college I believe he found somewhere around $60 in change. (Not bad for just "wandering around income".
At the same time, I embarked on my own coin hunting adventure and had similar results. I was absolutely astounded at how much change could be found laying around on the ground.
Interestingly enough however, I have noticed that in the last 5 months or so, the "change well" has dried up. I haven't found even a penny in weeks.
Could it be that with the rising cost of food and gas, rising interest rates, rising taxes, and increased consumer debt, the American public is finally starting to understand the value of money?
The research went something like this; researchers dropped pennies throughout the mall and then observed as teenagers came in and out of the mall. The idea was to gage how many people would bend over to pick up the pennies. After several hours, virtually no one expended the energy to pick up the pennies. Next they tried nickels. They found that a relatively low number of people would stop and pick up the nickels. When they went to dimes the number fell below that of the nickels. ( They theorized that it had to do with the size of the coin versus the value. ) Next they started dropping quarters and the number of people bending over to pick up the quarters increased to about 1 in 10. It wasn't until they started dropping dollar bills that they were able to get more than 90%. Even with the paper money, people seemed to be more concerned with "their image" than with the value of money. This led the researchers to theorize that there was little understanding of the true value of money, at least within the teen age demographic.
I shared this story with my son who was about to go off to college. I suggested to him that even a found penny had huge value as it was tax free, investment free, virtually labor free money. In other words; Pure Profit.
I further challenged Tim to keep his eyes peeled as he traversed the campus and pick up any loose change he spotted. I suggested that there was a virtual fortune in lost coin just laying around on the ground, and that based on the Mall of America study, the college campus would be an ideal hunting ground.
I don't remember the exact amount but after his first year of college I believe he found somewhere around $60 in change. (Not bad for just "wandering around income".
At the same time, I embarked on my own coin hunting adventure and had similar results. I was absolutely astounded at how much change could be found laying around on the ground.
Interestingly enough however, I have noticed that in the last 5 months or so, the "change well" has dried up. I haven't found even a penny in weeks.
Could it be that with the rising cost of food and gas, rising interest rates, rising taxes, and increased consumer debt, the American public is finally starting to understand the value of money?
Thursday, August 16, 2007
AMEN
MANSFIELD, La. — Effective Sept. 15, anyone in this northwest Louisiana town caught wearing sagging pants that expose his or her underwear will be subject to a fine up to $150 plus court costs, or face up to 15 days in jail.
Mansfield aldermen Monday voted unanimously and without discussion to enact the law. Mayor Curtis McCoy said he proposed it because he was concerned about the number of individuals who wear pants that expose their underwear. The citizens of Mansfield, he said, should not have to put up with it.
City attorney Richard Z. Johnson Jr. said he researched state statutes and borrowed from a similar law adopted in the south Louisiana town of Delcambre as a guideline in creating Mansfield's ordinance. Several municipalities and parish governments in Louisiana have enacted similar laws in recent months.
Mansfield aldermen Monday voted unanimously and without discussion to enact the law. Mayor Curtis McCoy said he proposed it because he was concerned about the number of individuals who wear pants that expose their underwear. The citizens of Mansfield, he said, should not have to put up with it.
City attorney Richard Z. Johnson Jr. said he researched state statutes and borrowed from a similar law adopted in the south Louisiana town of Delcambre as a guideline in creating Mansfield's ordinance. Several municipalities and parish governments in Louisiana have enacted similar laws in recent months.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
In Blue...one of a million stories in the naked city.
It was an especially gruesome scene. The victim or more appropriately what was left of the victim was now covered in a sheet awaiting a positive identification, if that was even possible after having been shoved through a wood chipper.
I tried not to look in that direction, but focused instead on the marked patrol unit that was bringing the victim family to the scene of the find. As they exited the car, they had the same distraught look that they had when we took the initial report a day earlier. Now, their emotions were careening from terror and fear to calm repose that maybe now they would find some closure.
I was surprised that they had brought the children, as this scene would no doubt be indelibly etched in their psyche forever. But it wasn’t our call, and the parents seemed to think that the kid’s input might be helpful.
We had the scene taped off with yellow “crime scene” tape. As I lifted the tape for them to enter the area, I thought about the night before…
“Radio…please repeat your traffic.” The dispatcher calmly replied; “5555, see the man at 8200 Appleton regarding items missing from his home.” This did not sound like a “lights and siren” call, so we made our way quickly but without urgency to the address. We rolled into the driveway and immediately the family came to us as if we could somehow assuage their fear and anxiety. I thought; “This is what being a cop is all about…we are the blue knights.”
The kids looked as if they had not only seen a ghost, but were now possessed by it. They paced nervously around their front yard. The mother appeared to be in tears and the father was definitely rattled as he answered our question; “What seems to be the problem here?” He buried his hands in his face as he responded… “My wife came home about a half an hour ago, and noticed…something was wrong…something was terribly wrong…” It had been right here…right here in our yard for about three years, and now…gone, just like yesterday’s dinner…look right here officer, you can see where it was dragged off through the dirt…Who would do something like this?... What is the likelihood that you can find these bastards?”
My partner and I looked around the scene, we looked at each other, we absorbed the scene unfolding around us…it was much worse than the radio call indicated. There was no doubt, these people had been victimized by the theft of something precious…I was grateful that both my partner and I had enough experience to control our own emotional responses… We did our best to turn away from the family so as not to give away our own reaction to what was happening.
My partner actually thought quickly and said he was going down the street to the closest neighbor to inquire as to whether or not they had seen anything. Not able to tolerate the raw emotion of the moment, I suggested that the family remain by our car, while I joined my partner in the neighborhood canvass.
The neighbors were less than helpful… this was not going to end well.
The terrorized shrieks of the family brought me back to the moment at hand. We were right, it was not ending well. This incident would scar this family for generations…
Now here we are…24 hours later after some routine patrol we stumble on the gruesome remains of the family’s loss. What had been a vital living being now lay in a pile of shredded remains under a sheet, on the edge of a sub-division building site.
Our sergeant radioed for an update on the identification and it appeared we had a positive ID. Now, it was up to the detectives to put the case together…
OK… so it didn’t’ really happen like that…
“5555 see the man at 8200 Appleton Road regarding the theft of a log.” “Radio, could you repeat that?” “5555, complainant at 8200 Appleton reports a 15 foot log has been removed from his property and would like a report.” “10-4 radio, we’re on our way.”
We arrived in the driveway and the scene looked pretty much as I described it earlier…
The kids looked as if they had not only seen a ghost, but were now possessed by it. They paced nervously around their front yard. The mother appeared to be in tears and the father was definitely rattled as he answered our question; “What seems to be the problem here?” He buried his hands in his face as he responded… “My wife came home about a half an hour ago, and noticed…something was wrong…something was terribly wrong…” It had been right here…right here in our yard for about three years, and now…gone, just like yesterday’s dinner…look right here officer, you can see where it was dragged off through the dirt…Who would do something like this…what is the likelihood that you can find these bastards?”
My partner asked; “What were you planning to do with the log?” “We were going to use it for landscaping…but now…?”
We advised them that taking a report for a log was highly unusual and in fact not even practical as logs are generally not registered or have serial numbers.
I was really thinking that we were on “ Candid Camera” when Jared suggested that we could talk to the neighbors. We had to do something to get away from these people. Both of us were working really hard not to burst into laughter. These people were behaving as if one of their kids had been taken.
We did talk to the neighbors. They laughed. We laughed. We cleared the call by advising the family to mark their remaining log with a sign: “Do not take”. Then we advised Dispatch to “log the log, on the log”. We thought it was funny.
I then went off on the fantasy you read above.
“There are a million stories in the city.”
Epilogue;
About two hours after the stolen log caper, we discovered several young men working late in a machine shop. At this time of night, no one is usually in this place so we thought it was worth checking out.
After questioning one of the men outside of the building and satisfied that they were legitimate, Jared, asked me…”What were they doing in there?” I replied; “not sure, looked like they had a big piece of wood they were cutting up.”
I love this job.
I tried not to look in that direction, but focused instead on the marked patrol unit that was bringing the victim family to the scene of the find. As they exited the car, they had the same distraught look that they had when we took the initial report a day earlier. Now, their emotions were careening from terror and fear to calm repose that maybe now they would find some closure.
I was surprised that they had brought the children, as this scene would no doubt be indelibly etched in their psyche forever. But it wasn’t our call, and the parents seemed to think that the kid’s input might be helpful.
We had the scene taped off with yellow “crime scene” tape. As I lifted the tape for them to enter the area, I thought about the night before…
“Radio…please repeat your traffic.” The dispatcher calmly replied; “5555, see the man at 8200 Appleton regarding items missing from his home.” This did not sound like a “lights and siren” call, so we made our way quickly but without urgency to the address. We rolled into the driveway and immediately the family came to us as if we could somehow assuage their fear and anxiety. I thought; “This is what being a cop is all about…we are the blue knights.”
The kids looked as if they had not only seen a ghost, but were now possessed by it. They paced nervously around their front yard. The mother appeared to be in tears and the father was definitely rattled as he answered our question; “What seems to be the problem here?” He buried his hands in his face as he responded… “My wife came home about a half an hour ago, and noticed…something was wrong…something was terribly wrong…” It had been right here…right here in our yard for about three years, and now…gone, just like yesterday’s dinner…look right here officer, you can see where it was dragged off through the dirt…Who would do something like this?... What is the likelihood that you can find these bastards?”
My partner and I looked around the scene, we looked at each other, we absorbed the scene unfolding around us…it was much worse than the radio call indicated. There was no doubt, these people had been victimized by the theft of something precious…I was grateful that both my partner and I had enough experience to control our own emotional responses… We did our best to turn away from the family so as not to give away our own reaction to what was happening.
My partner actually thought quickly and said he was going down the street to the closest neighbor to inquire as to whether or not they had seen anything. Not able to tolerate the raw emotion of the moment, I suggested that the family remain by our car, while I joined my partner in the neighborhood canvass.
The neighbors were less than helpful… this was not going to end well.
The terrorized shrieks of the family brought me back to the moment at hand. We were right, it was not ending well. This incident would scar this family for generations…
Now here we are…24 hours later after some routine patrol we stumble on the gruesome remains of the family’s loss. What had been a vital living being now lay in a pile of shredded remains under a sheet, on the edge of a sub-division building site.
Our sergeant radioed for an update on the identification and it appeared we had a positive ID. Now, it was up to the detectives to put the case together…
OK… so it didn’t’ really happen like that…
“5555 see the man at 8200 Appleton Road regarding the theft of a log.” “Radio, could you repeat that?” “5555, complainant at 8200 Appleton reports a 15 foot log has been removed from his property and would like a report.” “10-4 radio, we’re on our way.”
We arrived in the driveway and the scene looked pretty much as I described it earlier…
The kids looked as if they had not only seen a ghost, but were now possessed by it. They paced nervously around their front yard. The mother appeared to be in tears and the father was definitely rattled as he answered our question; “What seems to be the problem here?” He buried his hands in his face as he responded… “My wife came home about a half an hour ago, and noticed…something was wrong…something was terribly wrong…” It had been right here…right here in our yard for about three years, and now…gone, just like yesterday’s dinner…look right here officer, you can see where it was dragged off through the dirt…Who would do something like this…what is the likelihood that you can find these bastards?”
My partner asked; “What were you planning to do with the log?” “We were going to use it for landscaping…but now…?”
We advised them that taking a report for a log was highly unusual and in fact not even practical as logs are generally not registered or have serial numbers.
I was really thinking that we were on “ Candid Camera” when Jared suggested that we could talk to the neighbors. We had to do something to get away from these people. Both of us were working really hard not to burst into laughter. These people were behaving as if one of their kids had been taken.
We did talk to the neighbors. They laughed. We laughed. We cleared the call by advising the family to mark their remaining log with a sign: “Do not take”. Then we advised Dispatch to “log the log, on the log”. We thought it was funny.
I then went off on the fantasy you read above.
“There are a million stories in the city.”
Epilogue;
About two hours after the stolen log caper, we discovered several young men working late in a machine shop. At this time of night, no one is usually in this place so we thought it was worth checking out.
After questioning one of the men outside of the building and satisfied that they were legitimate, Jared, asked me…”What were they doing in there?” I replied; “not sure, looked like they had a big piece of wood they were cutting up.”
I love this job.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
What's ( or who is ) In your Wallet?
My youngest daughter purchased a new car a few days ago.
Her previous vehicle still had a balance due on the loan with Capital One. You know them they are the bank that ask's; What's in your wallet?" The question is a good one because if you listen to their commercials, you think they are promoting their credit card and their better way of doing business. The reality is that they really want to know what's in your wallet, because they are scheming how to take it!
Back to the story... The dealer is paying off the note. Consequently, the monthly electronic funds transfer payment that is due to come out of her bank account on May 28 needed to be cancelled. Since the account is in my name, I called Capital One and spoke with one of their Vikings. They told me that they needed 6 days notice to cancel an EFT and that I should contact my bank to stop the payment. ( Six days? You could sail from Norway, raid and pillage a small city in America and return to Norway in that amount of time. ) So Stef dutifully went to National City Bank this morning and asked them to stop the transfer. She was informed by the bank Ogre, that she would be charged $29.00 to file a stop payment request, and that there was no gurantee that it would actually stop it. Further, Miss Congeniality explained that Capital One would likely hit her account for an additional $30 for failing to honor the EFT. So now her $150 payment is up to $209.00. On a vehicle that is actually paid off. The best part of the NCB incident however is that when Stef decided NOT to pursue the stop payment, the NCB Ogre, actually admonished her for making additional work for her, as she had already initiated the stop payment and would now have to "come in on Tuesday, and file a cancellation of the stop payment in order to prevent the $29.00 charge". Excuse me honey... but that's why they call it work.
Being the supportive Dad that I am, I deposited $150 into Stef's account at NCB so that when the Vikings raid her account on Tuesday she will at least avoid the "insufficient fund" charges of $39.00 plus $8.00 a day, that NCB would have charged her due to Capital One requesting the EFT, and the NCB Ogre, not getting the work done, because she was too busy discussing American Idol with the troll at the door.
Anyhow... Are you sick of being treated like crap by Banks? I know I am. I have a solution. We just have to beat them at their own game. If you want to hear about my plan, get in touch with me through this blog. Together we CAN make a difference and take our lives back from Capital One, National City Bank, Bank of America, and all the rest who are victimizing us with fees and rates that make the Vikings look like Care Bears.
Her previous vehicle still had a balance due on the loan with Capital One. You know them they are the bank that ask's; What's in your wallet?" The question is a good one because if you listen to their commercials, you think they are promoting their credit card and their better way of doing business. The reality is that they really want to know what's in your wallet, because they are scheming how to take it!
Back to the story... The dealer is paying off the note. Consequently, the monthly electronic funds transfer payment that is due to come out of her bank account on May 28 needed to be cancelled. Since the account is in my name, I called Capital One and spoke with one of their Vikings. They told me that they needed 6 days notice to cancel an EFT and that I should contact my bank to stop the payment. ( Six days? You could sail from Norway, raid and pillage a small city in America and return to Norway in that amount of time. ) So Stef dutifully went to National City Bank this morning and asked them to stop the transfer. She was informed by the bank Ogre, that she would be charged $29.00 to file a stop payment request, and that there was no gurantee that it would actually stop it. Further, Miss Congeniality explained that Capital One would likely hit her account for an additional $30 for failing to honor the EFT. So now her $150 payment is up to $209.00. On a vehicle that is actually paid off. The best part of the NCB incident however is that when Stef decided NOT to pursue the stop payment, the NCB Ogre, actually admonished her for making additional work for her, as she had already initiated the stop payment and would now have to "come in on Tuesday, and file a cancellation of the stop payment in order to prevent the $29.00 charge". Excuse me honey... but that's why they call it work.
Being the supportive Dad that I am, I deposited $150 into Stef's account at NCB so that when the Vikings raid her account on Tuesday she will at least avoid the "insufficient fund" charges of $39.00 plus $8.00 a day, that NCB would have charged her due to Capital One requesting the EFT, and the NCB Ogre, not getting the work done, because she was too busy discussing American Idol with the troll at the door.
Anyhow... Are you sick of being treated like crap by Banks? I know I am. I have a solution. We just have to beat them at their own game. If you want to hear about my plan, get in touch with me through this blog. Together we CAN make a difference and take our lives back from Capital One, National City Bank, Bank of America, and all the rest who are victimizing us with fees and rates that make the Vikings look like Care Bears.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
I want to be perfectly clear
Today is Peace Officer Memorial Day.
The U.S. Flag in front of my house is flying at half-staff in honor of fallen police officers. NOT Jerry Falwell.
The U.S. Flag in front of my house is flying at half-staff in honor of fallen police officers. NOT Jerry Falwell.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Thinking things through
I was in our local hardware store yesterday. As I walked in, I noticed one of those signs on the door, a handgun in a red circle with line through it, along with the warning that guns were prohibited.
The store owners son was there, so I thought I would engage him in a little mind exercise by asking him about the sign. I asked; "Let's say I'm in the back of your store, and I hear some commotion coming from the cash register area. I discover that someone has a gun to your cashier's head. The perpetrator is agitated, and making no sense, is obviously a threat to the cashier's life and the other customers in the store. No one can get to a phone to call the police. I have a perfect vantage point. I am concealed and covered. A perfect position to do something...however, because I obeyed your request and did not "carry" into your store, there is nothing I can do. Have you ever thought about that type of scenario?" The store owner's son, looked confused then said; " I just put up the sign, 'cause I was told to."
I'm not a gun-toting advocate of arming the entire society. I do have a brain however and I like to use it occasionally to think about life's possibilities in a rational way. It was obvious that this store owner, like so many other store owners, arena managers, park supervisors, college administrators, and etc. had not thought things through.
The law abiding individual who takes the time to take the necessary course work, apply for, and take the necessary tests, be finger printed, have their background checked, and pay for a license to carry is not a threat to the public. They have been well educated in the potential emotional issues that would inevitably follow a shooting. They know the legal and financial risks that would come from lawsuits and legal defense. They are the individuals who will respect the wishes of the merchants who post the "no carry" signs.
Will the criminal respect those signs or use them merely as a guide for locations that have less risk of intervention?
The store owners son was there, so I thought I would engage him in a little mind exercise by asking him about the sign. I asked; "Let's say I'm in the back of your store, and I hear some commotion coming from the cash register area. I discover that someone has a gun to your cashier's head. The perpetrator is agitated, and making no sense, is obviously a threat to the cashier's life and the other customers in the store. No one can get to a phone to call the police. I have a perfect vantage point. I am concealed and covered. A perfect position to do something...however, because I obeyed your request and did not "carry" into your store, there is nothing I can do. Have you ever thought about that type of scenario?" The store owner's son, looked confused then said; " I just put up the sign, 'cause I was told to."
I'm not a gun-toting advocate of arming the entire society. I do have a brain however and I like to use it occasionally to think about life's possibilities in a rational way. It was obvious that this store owner, like so many other store owners, arena managers, park supervisors, college administrators, and etc. had not thought things through.
The law abiding individual who takes the time to take the necessary course work, apply for, and take the necessary tests, be finger printed, have their background checked, and pay for a license to carry is not a threat to the public. They have been well educated in the potential emotional issues that would inevitably follow a shooting. They know the legal and financial risks that would come from lawsuits and legal defense. They are the individuals who will respect the wishes of the merchants who post the "no carry" signs.
Will the criminal respect those signs or use them merely as a guide for locations that have less risk of intervention?
Monday, April 30, 2007
Hooray, Hooray
Tomorrow is the first of May.
It always makes me think of Marge. Marge was a woman who I worked with for years. I mentioned her in this blog last year when she passed away. She was a unique individual. She worked her ass off and would make sure you knew it. She would do anything for you, was faithful to a fault, and she knew who she was. There was a wrong way to do things and there was Marge's way. She loved the Pittsburgh Steelers. She loved a good stiff drink ( or multiples thereof). Her favorite "superstar" was Eddie Rabbitt ( does anybody else remember him?)
Anyhow... every year on the first day of May, Marge would come into the office and yell;
"Hooray, hooray, it's the first of May. Outside intercourse starts today!
So in memory of Marge... Tom, Ilona, Rob, MaryEllen, Jan, & anyone else reading this blog who knew Marge; Make sure you yell it tomorrow. In fact... even if you didn't know Marge... yell it anyhow. You would have like her.
It always makes me think of Marge. Marge was a woman who I worked with for years. I mentioned her in this blog last year when she passed away. She was a unique individual. She worked her ass off and would make sure you knew it. She would do anything for you, was faithful to a fault, and she knew who she was. There was a wrong way to do things and there was Marge's way. She loved the Pittsburgh Steelers. She loved a good stiff drink ( or multiples thereof). Her favorite "superstar" was Eddie Rabbitt ( does anybody else remember him?)
Anyhow... every year on the first day of May, Marge would come into the office and yell;
"Hooray, hooray, it's the first of May. Outside intercourse starts today!
So in memory of Marge... Tom, Ilona, Rob, MaryEllen, Jan, & anyone else reading this blog who knew Marge; Make sure you yell it tomorrow. In fact... even if you didn't know Marge... yell it anyhow. You would have like her.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Global Warming
When I was in the fourth grade, our teacher ( Mr. Shane) spent a substantial amount of time teaching us about the environment. Mr. Shane was ahead of his time in many ways. Having an interest in the environment is just one example.
I remember being both fascinated and terrified at the information that he provided us regarding the pending condition of life on the planet Earth. Of course his information was not self-manufactured, he had done substantial research and everything he spoke about was backed up by what was being reported on the news and in print.
Bottom line... The Earth was cooling too fast. Additionally, it was predicted that by the time we would be seniors in high school (1972) there would be no more gasoline.
I'm really not in much of a mood to write alot today, so I will provide a photo to make my point.
Today's date is April 7, 2007, and this is the view out my back door in "Sunny" Cleveland, Ohio
Sunday, March 04, 2007
MadTV new 'Grey's Anatomy' and 'House' spoof (Feb 17 episod)
Since Grey's Anatomy was not on last week, I thought I would post one of my favorite episodes for you...
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Do the math
According to the most recent Citibank commercial, 6 people have their identity stolen every minute.
I did some quick calculations on this and encourage you to do the same.
My point being... if this is true, then I should know at least one person who has had their identity stolen.
By the way... if someone wants mine they can have it. Based on Citibank's claim, sometime in the next 10 years I will end up being someone else anyhow.
I did some quick calculations on this and encourage you to do the same.
My point being... if this is true, then I should know at least one person who has had their identity stolen.
By the way... if someone wants mine they can have it. Based on Citibank's claim, sometime in the next 10 years I will end up being someone else anyhow.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Cuckoo for Coco Puffs
I know it has been awhile since my last post. I apologize to my regular readers. I haven't been feeling particularly inspired to write.
This morning I was watching the Food Network with our youngest daughter and then it struck me...I have been missing out on the latest trend in creative presentation. So beginning now, I am adding a new feature to my blog...Not to be outdone by Rachel Ray and the rest, I will be from time to time posting my culinary tips...
Today the topic is cereal;
I like to begin by selecting a bowl. I recommend a bowl that is not too big and not too small. You want to be able to put enough cereal in the bowl to provide a satisfying meal, but not so much that by the time you get to the last spoonfull it has all gone soggy.
Next is the spoon selection. I find that a standard spoon is just too small. I like to use a soup spoon. Generally, it will help prevent spillage while providing the maximum amount of cereal to appropriately fill your mouth.
Cereal selection is important but is so personal that I will not even try to address it here.
I have found that placing the cereal into the bowl is the most effective way to prepare the cereal. Then depending on whether or not it is pre-sweetened, you may or may not want to add some sugar.
My daughter likes to use skim milk. I don't even like the sound of it. It just looks like somebody washed out the milk bottle and poured the rinse into her bowl.
I suggest instead a mix of 1 part half & half cream and 2 parts 2%. The 2% milk is lowfat and satisfies my wife that I am trying to cut down on my fat intake, while the half & half makes the whole presentation palatable.
So, there it is... sit down and enjoy...cereal in 1 minute.
That's it for today... next time I will discuss Toast...White or Otherwise
Bon Apetite ( did I spell that right?)
This morning I was watching the Food Network with our youngest daughter and then it struck me...I have been missing out on the latest trend in creative presentation. So beginning now, I am adding a new feature to my blog...Not to be outdone by Rachel Ray and the rest, I will be from time to time posting my culinary tips...
Today the topic is cereal;
I like to begin by selecting a bowl. I recommend a bowl that is not too big and not too small. You want to be able to put enough cereal in the bowl to provide a satisfying meal, but not so much that by the time you get to the last spoonfull it has all gone soggy.
Next is the spoon selection. I find that a standard spoon is just too small. I like to use a soup spoon. Generally, it will help prevent spillage while providing the maximum amount of cereal to appropriately fill your mouth.
Cereal selection is important but is so personal that I will not even try to address it here.
I have found that placing the cereal into the bowl is the most effective way to prepare the cereal. Then depending on whether or not it is pre-sweetened, you may or may not want to add some sugar.
My daughter likes to use skim milk. I don't even like the sound of it. It just looks like somebody washed out the milk bottle and poured the rinse into her bowl.
I suggest instead a mix of 1 part half & half cream and 2 parts 2%. The 2% milk is lowfat and satisfies my wife that I am trying to cut down on my fat intake, while the half & half makes the whole presentation palatable.
So, there it is... sit down and enjoy...cereal in 1 minute.
That's it for today... next time I will discuss Toast...White or Otherwise
Bon Apetite ( did I spell that right?)
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
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