Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Kramer may have had the right idea

There was an episode of Seinfeld once where Kramer decided he didn't want to accept his mail anymore. I am starting to think he had a good idea.

Our mail is getting more weird by the day.

First of all there is the daily barrage of credit card offers. It used to be that we would get 2 or 3 a day. But now that the banks have figured out that we have three adult children (all with jobs), we are up to about 8 envelopes a day just from credit card companies. They are getting really sneaky too. They don't just send letter sized envelopes anymore, now they disguise them in what appear to be "overnight" packages. I guess they think that if they can trick us into opening them we will be more enticed to apply for more credit.

Then there is the every-other day delivery of gift items and promotional items from Marlboro and Parliament. Since non of us smoke, they are really pouring on the heat trying to hook us up. So far we have received 4 money clips, 3 cigarette cases, and two key chains. I'm actually starting to feel guilty. Perhaps I should buy a pack of menthols just to say thanks.

Next comes the offers for further education. Phoenix University started it. Now everday someone wants to sell either Robin or I a masters degree via the internet. It doesn't stop there however. There are offers for Robin to receive further nursing education in exciting areas like: skin & wound care, hospice & palliative nursing. I get offered courses in SWAT tactics, drug enforcement, etc.

Then, because our home based business is called MTS Enterprises, ( a name that we share with a gas & oil drilling company) we receive mountains of offers for exciting magazines like; "Drilling Today", "Power", and "Gas & Oil Monthly". We really enjoy the annual "Gas & Oil Review". It weighs about 8 lbs. and costs someone a fortune to mail it to us.

Of course, you can't forget the "town shopper" coupons, and the missing kids flyers.

Today, there were over 20 pieces of mail. By the time I sorted it all out, there was one piece that we were interested in. A sympathy card from our vet regarding the passing of our dog.

I shovelled the snow out of the driveway in order to walk down to the mailbox at the street and retrieve this stuff. Don't get me wrong, the sympathy card was nice and appreciated. But I could have waited until the snow stopped, and I would have if the mailbox hadn't been overflowing.

With all that mail, I thought the odds were pretty good that there would be at least one check in there. So... help me out here... mail me a check just to give me a reason to go to the mailbox. Otherwise, I may have to brick up the mailbox.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'll mail you a check for $50. (That's what I owe you anyways)