Growing Up (part I)

I had a pretty normal childhood, at least from outside appearances. My family was terrific. We all got along great and mom & dad always provided for us even when money was tight. I wasn’t abused or mistreated…at least not at home.

Actually life was pretty good until the third grade. I ran into a very sick individual who happened to be my third grade teacher. She was married to a fairly prominent local business owner and was purported to have been an ordained minister. All I know for sure is that she was twisted and should never have been allowed near children. For some unknown reason I became her target. She never touched me or abused me physically she did however launch an emotional psychological attack that took me years to come to grips with.

On a daily basis she stood me up in front of my classmates as an example of “stupid”. She nicknamed me “bump on a log” and would call on me by that name. If I performed poorly on a test or assignment she would not only show my work as a bad example, but would share the information with other teachers. What hurt the most however was how she systematically turned my classmates against me. She actually targeted other kids who continued to be my friend until they too would turn against me.

I said she never touched me, but there was one day where she manipulated an “April Fools Day” activity so that I was dared to kiss the teacher. Ultimately it was not the other kids who goaded me, it was her. I remember vividly being humiliated into pressing my lips against the cheek of this vile person as the class watched. I literally went home and vomited. I told my mother I thought I ate a bad hot dog in the cafeteria.

My parents never could comprehend that what I was reporting to them was the truth. I guess they thought that I had an active imagination and was using it to defend my poor performance at school. It wasn’t until after the year ended that they came to realize what damage had been done.

By the end of the school year I had no friends except for Don and Janet. They were my friends from church. Don was my buddy no matter what. When the teacher discovered this, she started picking on him. Fortunately for Don, it was pretty late in the school year so she didn’t have much time to work on him. Janet was sparred because her family was also very well known in the community. Her dad was a teacher and her mom was the city Finance Director and the choir director at the local Methodist Church. I would bet that they both suffered some humiliation on my part, but they stuck it out.

Socially, I didn’t fully recover from this until the ninth grade. Mentally I still deal with it. In fact, despite my outward appearance of self-confidence, I still find myself dealing with self-esteem issues. I chose to mask these feelings by being the jokester and acting like a guy with a huge ego. Evidently I am a more talented actor than I or anyone has ever given me credit for.