Goodnight my little Roseanne Roseannadanna

In the words of Roseanne Roseannadanna..." I thought I was gonna die..."

Last night, I had an appointment with a mortgage client. He asked to meet me in my office at 6pm. I usually go to their homes, but because of his job schedule and where he worked he said it would be easier to meet me at my office.

Of course by 6pm everyone else is gone, not only in our office, but in our entire office condo.

"George" came in looking rather depressed. I had a solution for his financial woes, so I thought he would cheer up as I explained it to him. Instead, he became more depressed, so much so that he just stared down at the conference table in silence for what seemed like eternity. Even though I was speaking to him he wasn't responding. Then all of a sudden he started to twitch. That's when I thought I was gonna die. He just had this look of a guy who was at the end of his rope.

Maybe I have seen too many CSI episodes, but I was beginning to imagine the headlines... "Loan Officer Found Dead With Client". I could just see this guy going off the deep end, pulling out a cheap 38 and plugging me then blowing out his own brains. YIKES! I was taking inventory of the area, and planning my moves as to how I would disarm him before he had a chance to draw on me ( of course, I had nothing but my pocket knife, a pencil, and a financial calculator at my disposal ).

So I continue talking to him about how great my solutions were, and that he would be so much better off financially if he would just take my advice... his problems would be over. He wasn't buying it however... he just kept twitching... then he started to speak, only now he was stuttering about how we just not going to do anything... just accept his situation as hopeless...etc... Damn CSI, Law & Order, Criminal Intent, all of you... This guy is about to self destruct, and after all the goofy stuff I've been up against... I'm going to buy it, in this stupid mortgage office... not even a glorious, heroic way to go...

Then, just as strangely as the whole thing started... he stopped twitching, stopped stuttering...he actually smiled, thanked me for my help, and left.

And if you are under 21, you are saying..."Who the hell is Roseanne Roseannadanna?"