A little help from your friends

Dear Wendy:

I am so sorry to hear about all the problems you are having ever since that nasty woman in California accused you of putting fingers in your salads. I know that you have lost a lot of sales because of this. I am so glad she was caught and I hope she is punished appropriately.

I am writing today in order to offer some assistance in rebuilding the Wendy’s business and reputation.

Since I do have a background in marketing and advertising I try to offer my services whenever possible to organizations like yours that are in the midst of a crisis. To that end, I have developed a creative promotional campaign that I believe will not only put you back on top of the salad dispensing world, but will allow you to turn this unfortunate incident into something that will get you free, positive media exposure…

Picture this… a simple ad campaign titled… “Wendy is giving you the finger”, or “I got the finger at Wendy’s”. Either one will work.

Now, here is the premise of the promotion. Since the finger was planted, and there never was a slip up on your part, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You should take advantage of the whole finger in the salad thing, by running a nationwide promotion in which you encourage people to buy a salad in the hopes of discovering a finger in their salad. (The finger would of course be plastic ). Any one finding a finger in their salad would automatically win a prize matched to the “finger print” on the finger. Since all the fingers would have to have a different print, you could encourage people to collect all the fingers of the same print. When they get an entire hand, they would get a free trip to Palm Springs! Of course for anyone to get a full hand you will have to throw in a thumb once in awhile. You could call this the “thumbs up winner! Perhaps just getting a thumb could get the recipient a one night stay on some roadside motel somewhere along Route 66. Other prizes could include free manicures and acrylic nails, “Isotoner” gloves, “Palm Pilots”, free chicken fingers at your restaurants…etc.

I can see people really getting excited about the whole thing. Wendy... you could end up on Letterman!

I would be happy to coordinate this effort with your existing ad agency. (Quite frankly, I am rather disappointed and surprised that they have not already thought of this. You might consider a new agency.) You may contact me through the email address listed below.

Finally, I recommend that you get going on this before Kohl’s Frozen Custard in North Carolina steals the idea. It has already been reported that a customer found a finger in his custard…It is only a matter of time. Damn, nobody has original thoughts anymore.

Your friend,

Jim